Secretary: My pencil drawer is broken. It needs a new twisty nail.
Boss: Twisty nail?
Secretary: Yeah, you know, with the X‑groove on top.
Boss: You mean a Phillips‐head screw?
Secretary: Whatever.

118 East Whittier
St. Francis, Kansas

Very upset office lady: I can’t believe she is downstairs eating corn while you are printing this out!

Topeka, Kansas

Overheard by: DougEvil

Nurse walks out to designated smoking area as her pager goes off.

Nurse, shaking her head in disgust: ‘Emergency!’ Of course. Why these people gotta be goin’ into diabetic shock when I wanna go outside? [Sits down to smoke cigarette.] 

1031 SW Fleming Court
Topeka, Kansas

Overheard by: Jonna

Coworker on phone: It’s a shoe… or a snake.

Lawrence, Kansas

Nurse: Thanks for taking out the trash. I’ve been a nurse for so long I don’t have a sense of smell anymore. You could roll in roadkill and I wouldn’t notice.

15001 Quivira Road
Overland Park, Kansas

Overheard by: Naomi

Old man worker #1, across the room: Is the softball team jumping around again?
Old man worker #2, looking out the window: No, they’re running now.
Old man worker #1: That’s just as good.

College Boulevard
Overland Park, Kansas

Boss: Well, we’ll come to that bridge when we cross it.
Assistant: I would certainly hope so.
Boss: What?
Assistant: Nothing.


Coworker: I can’t remember if he used two fingers or three…

Metcalf Avenue
Overland Park, Kansas

National sales director, about company Christmas tree contest: Fuck needy people. This is about Christmas!

Bonner Springs, Kansas

Company owner: Okay, so I haven’t heard a real definition of ‘bad touch’ yet…

111 Oak Street
Bonner Springs, Kansas