Boss: You have to press the asserkist key. It's on top of the 8.
Nanaimo
BC
Canadia
Boss: You have to press the asserkist key. It's on top of the 8.
Nanaimo
BC
Canadia
Payroll girl on phone: No, we can't find the time cards… No, she didn't lose them… Hahahahaha. (to secretary who lost time cards) George says your butt sucks major canal water!
Secretary who lost time cards: What!?
Phoenix, Arizona
Male coworker #1: I don't care how much of a bitch she is, her tits are unbelievable.
Male coworker #2: Shit, did you see that red thing she was wearing yesterday? I had to jerk off in the bathroom during lunch.
Female coworker they're talking about: You guys are aware that I can hear you, right?
Male coworker #1: In our own defense, we weren't aware of that.
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by:
White office dude: What do a roll of sod and a 200-pound white chick have in common?
Mexican office dude: I dunno. What?
White office dude: Sooner or later they both get laid by a Mexican.
Mexican office dude: You know, that joke would be really funny if it weren't so true.
Employee Parking Garage
Downers Grove, Illinois
Intern: It was like calling that midget the N-word
Nashville, Tennessee
Security guy: I could be an officer, you know.
Sarge: Oh, shut the fuck up.
Security guy: No, really. It’s just politics stopping me! Just politics!
Sarge: Oh, is Rudy fucking Giuliani preventing you from becoming a police officer? Why don’t you fucking explain that to all of us?
Public Safety
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
20-something female cube rat: Sounds like a fucking stupid project, and I am really excited to do it some time.
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Female coworker to copy machine: You have enough paper, you bitch.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: The New Guy
Boss on phone: Excuse me? I’m sorry, I don’t speak stupid, let me get one of my employees to speak to you.
Coppell, Texas
Overheard by: Luckily, it wasn’t me.
