Manager: You know butadiene is a reproductive toxin, right?
Peon: A what?
Manager: Reproductive toxin — it causes sterility.
Peon: Okay… You know, maybe we should sterilize that town… Wait, was that out loud?
Manager, laughing: Yeah.
Houston, Texas
Boss: It’s such a nice day and nothing is happening in here…I think I’m going to leave.
Employee #1: That sounds good. Can I leave, too?
Boss: Sure.
Employee #2: And me?
Boss: If you want. Hey, [Erica]! If the phone rings, then just–
Clerk: Wait, you’re all going to leave me here by myself and you expect me to actually do shit? Fuck you.
101 Braddock Road
Frostburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Developer on phone with admin: Yeah, just add it to the list. The account name is 'consumer', password 'buttfucker'. Thanks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Mr. the Snake
Reference librarian to another: Bitch! You da rock lobster!
Charleston County, South Carolina
Overheard by: I wish I had heard the first part of this conversation…
Customer: Man, you have a shitty fucking job.
Sales rep: Yeah.
Whitcoulls
Lower Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: You Bet I Did
Attorney: I have a small problem.
Secretary: Well, you have to work with what God gave you.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Boss to coworker, as they leave office: All right, I'll meet the goddamn baby!
Los Angeles, California
Suit: She graciously volunteered to confirm tomorrow’s interviews. She says she likes people.
Supervisor: I find that hard to believe. She’s from Detroit.
1252 Memorial Drive
Goral Gables, Florida
Cashier: Okay, your total is $9.63, and can I have you first name for the order?
Customer: McKnight.
Cashier: McKnight?
Customer: Yes.
Cashier: That’s your first name?
Customer: Yes.
Cashier: Your mother didn’t like you very much, did she?
Panera Bread
Evans, Georgia
Overheard by: Phil
Foreign coworker: What does it mean, ‘nappy-headed hos’?
333 Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
