Boss to coworker, as they leave office: All right, I'll meet the goddamn baby!
Los Angeles, California
Boss to coworker, as they leave office: All right, I'll meet the goddamn baby!
Los Angeles, California
Suit: She graciously volunteered to confirm tomorrow’s interviews. She says she likes people.
Supervisor: I find that hard to believe. She’s from Detroit.
1252 Memorial Drive
Goral Gables, Florida
Cashier: Okay, your total is $9.63, and can I have you first name for the order?
Customer: McKnight.
Cashier: McKnight?
Customer: Yes.
Cashier: That’s your first name?
Customer: Yes.
Cashier: Your mother didn’t like you very much, did she?
Panera Bread
Evans, Georgia
Overheard by: Phil
Foreign coworker: What does it mean, ‘nappy-headed hos’?
333 Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Woman #1: I hate living alone.
Woman #2: I love living alone.
Woman #1: It sucks going home to nobody, having nobody to talk to — it just sucks.
Woman #2: You want to live together?
Woman #1: No!
Motorola, 1301 East Algonquin Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Electronics clerk: If I were a tap dancer, I’d tap dance all over the store.
Jewelry clerk: Like this? [Flails arms and pretends to tap dance.]Electronics clerk: No… That was gay.
2600 Midland Boulevard
Ft. Smith, Arizona
Overheard by: i love my job
Boss: I was out at the corporate office yesterday. Do you know who was asking about you?
Worker: No, who? Who?
Boss: No one!
303 Roslyn Road
Mineola, New York
Overheard by: Jeff Bailey
Holy roller #1: He has a Jesus hat on. He looks really WT today.
Holy roller #2: Praise him.
Holy roller #1: Is that his wife? I think it is.
Holy roller #2: ‘Thin-lipped, snake handling Jesus freaks,’ I can hear her shrieking already. I wonder if they speak in tongues… Durka durka blah blah burble burble…
Holy roller #1: That’s what it sounded like. Here they come…
Holy roller #2: I can feel the holy spirit oozing out of her. I’ll bet she smells like Jesus.
Holy roller #1: Totally.
757 North Broadway
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Guy with monitor: You need anything else moved into your office?
Other guy: No, but you’re my IT bitch so I’ll call you when I need something.
525 W. Van Buren Street
Chicago, Illinois
Software developer, after running a successful test: Boo-yah! I’m not dumb! I may not know what 12 minus 5 is, but I’m not dumb! Who cares if I can’t add?
Suburb
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
