Supervisor: Are these numbers right?
Employee: Yeah, I double-checked.
Supervisor: The sales manager said that they were under budget!
Employee: Well, numbers don’t lie. Salespeople do.
17777 Center Court Drive
Cerritos, California
Supervisor: Are these numbers right?
Employee: Yeah, I double-checked.
Supervisor: The sales manager said that they were under budget!
Employee: Well, numbers don’t lie. Salespeople do.
17777 Center Court Drive
Cerritos, California
White clerk to black clerk: What are you doing over in these parts? Slummin’?
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug’s Mom
Customer: Here’s my order number.
CSR: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: What can you tell me about my order?
CSR: Um. What would you like to know?
Customer: You tell me. What does your computer tell you?
CSR: It tells me lots of things. What you ordered, when you ordered it. How can I help you?
Customer: Tell me everything your screen tells you about my order.
CSR: What would you like to know?
Customer: No, I want to know what you know about my order.
CSR: Well, I can tell you when it shipped, when it was delivered. Would those help?
Customer: No. What else?
CSR: Well, it would take me a really long time to read you everything I have here.
Customer: Oh. Well, let me explain. [Gives explanation]CSR: I see. So you just want UPS to pick up this order?
Customer: Are you an idiot? That’s what I’ve been saying the whole time!
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon can’t wait for the weekend
Accountant: By the way, fuck Betsy Ross.
Santa Monica, California
Manager: You know butadiene is a reproductive toxin, right?
Peon: A what?
Manager: Reproductive toxin — it causes sterility.
Peon: Okay… You know, maybe we should sterilize that town… Wait, was that out loud?
Manager, laughing: Yeah.
Houston, Texas
Boss: It’s such a nice day and nothing is happening in here…I think I’m going to leave.
Employee #1: That sounds good. Can I leave, too?
Boss: Sure.
Employee #2: And me?
Boss: If you want. Hey, [Erica]! If the phone rings, then just–
Clerk: Wait, you’re all going to leave me here by myself and you expect me to actually do shit? Fuck you.
101 Braddock Road
Frostburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Developer on phone with admin: Yeah, just add it to the list. The account name is 'consumer', password 'buttfucker'. Thanks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Mr. the Snake
Reference librarian to another: Bitch! You da rock lobster!
Charleston County, South Carolina
Overheard by: I wish I had heard the first part of this conversation…
Customer: Man, you have a shitty fucking job.
Sales rep: Yeah.
Whitcoulls
Lower Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: You Bet I Did
Attorney: I have a small problem.
Secretary: Well, you have to work with what God gave you.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
