Secretary: I'm getting an iPad.
Office tech: Oh, don't get one! I need to tell you all about it.
Secretary: I don't want to hear it.
Office tech: You don't want to know my opinion?
Secretary: No, you bore me, and you can't afford one anyway.
Auburn, Indiana
Customer: Last week I bought two of these toy bulldozers for my nephews, and I’d like to exchange this one for a backhoe.
CSR: Okay.
Customer: Would you like me to go back to the toy department and get the other one?
CSR: No, I’ll page and have someone bring one up here for you. [Over intercom] Attention, Toy Department. Will someone please bring a black ho to the service desk? I repeat, we need a black ho at the service desk.
Value City
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Did that really just happen?
Peon: Here, let me do it. My forearms are stronger — I’m not married.
Harmony Avenue
Portage, Indiana
Overheard by: nightmare1970
Drone #1: Every time Tina* leaves her office, I pop in there and rat out a fart.
Drone #2: Dude!
Drone #1: When she made me work the weekend, I pissed in all her plants and wiped my ass on her mouse pad.
Circle Center Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Co-worker #1: We all have icky hairy things.
Co-worker #2: I shave mine.
Co-worker #3: I tried that once, but kept hunching the corners of desks.
Co-worker #1: Okay, so some of us have icky hairy things.
Washington Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Tech #1: Should I bring tools?
Tech #2: Nah, you can use your teeth and fingers.
Tech #1: What do you mean?
Computer Repair Shop
Indiana
Stylist: Do you like your haircut, buddy?
Little boy: [Silence.]Stylist: Do you know who would like your haircut? SpongeBob.
Little boy: … I’m not stupid.
Barbershop
Noblesville, Indiana
Assistant to director: I think I'm going to ride your beast tonight. (pause) Wait. That came out wrong.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Coworker on cell: Get out my recipe book and look up the recipe for my Boston butt rub.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: DC
Receptionist: He’s not in, may I take a message?…No, we don’t have voice mail, but I’ll be happy to take a message…I write it on a piece of paper and had it to him when he comes in.
1718 Villa Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
