Colleague on phone: We’ll just have to go down there and gang bang those sites.
Silence.
3699 West Lathrop Street
South Bend, Indiana
Colleague on phone: We’ll just have to go down there and gang bang those sites.
Silence.
3699 West Lathrop Street
South Bend, Indiana
Creepy waiter: The new girl’s pants sure are tight.
Mousy waitress: Yeah.
Creepy waiter: You can tell she shaves her biscuit. [Mousy waitress blinks, quickly puts on long apron, and walks away.]
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Kitchen grunt: You ever poop and suddenly find the world a better place?
Main Street
Greenwood, Indiana
Overheard by: RDC
Waitress: I ate so many pork sausages yesterday at the picnic, when I fart it sounds like a pig squealing [makes loud squealing sounds over and over].
Waiter: Did you used to be a guy or something?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker: I wish my kids could job-shadow a homeless person.
404 Columbia Place
South Bend, Indiana
Overheard by: Dave Trowbridge
Intern: So, why aren't people making a big deal about the Mars Lander?
Busy office worker: I don't know.
Intern: Do you know many people who are on board?
Indiana
Male coworker: I would take Beyoncé’s face, Beyoncé’s legs, Beyoncé’s arms, Beyoncé’s body, and Beyoncé’s ass and put them all together to make my dream woman… And I’d name her Beyoncé.
4510 Maplecrest Road
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: Bk-Bitch
Engineer #1: Hey, where is your bush gauge?
Engineer #2: I keep it on the top shelf.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: At the keybored
New chef: I gotta take a dump.
Waiter: There’s no toilet seat in the employee bathroom.
New chef: Dude, I just got out of jail after five years. I could shit in a pickle bucket in the middle of our dining room and it wouldn’t bother me.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Manager: Yeah, my uncle owns a car lot — he’s a Jew.
Worker: Oh, your uncle is Jewish?
Manager: No, he just rips people off.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: She did not just say that!
