Worker #1: Did you hear me? I just said I hit my knee on the window.
Worker #2: But there are no windows in your cubicle.
Worker #1: I know, I meant chair.
Worker #2: Hey [worker #3], did you hear [worker #1]? She said window but meant chair.
Worker #1: I also meant arm not knee.
Worker #2: Wait, so when you said, “I hit my knee on the window,” you really meant,”I hit my arm on the chair?”
Worker #1: Yeah.
Worker #2: You’re beautiful.
Rt 31, Illinois
Coworker #1: My palms are sweaty. What do you think that means?
Coworker #2: It means you’re annoyed.
Coworker #1: Really?
Coworker #2: No, I guess I was just projecting.
330 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Customer #1 (sitting in waiting area waiting for prescription for 40 minutes): (cough cough hack hack wheeze)
Customer #2: Oh, you sound awful, I hope you haven't been waiting long.
Customer #1: I've been here for almost an hour watching the dance of the dipshits that's going on behind the counter.
Customer #2: There's entertainment now?
CVS Pharmacy
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Currrly!
Man, shouting at secretary: No! You will take this to the bank, then you’ll pick up my coffee, then you can go in to recovery!
Victoria Parade, East Melbourne
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
Patient to neurologist, exiting examination room: Yes, it really makes you wonder if it's worth it to go on, if you're just going to end up a horrible vampire.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: so true
Social worker on the phone: No sir, the hospital does not offer financial assistance for penile prosthesis. Well, have you spoken with Dr. Wang in the erectile dysfunction clinic?
Holcombe & Bertner
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Just the Secretary
Man standing at urinal: (farts while peeing)
Other man at urinal: At least we have something in common!
Training Center
Bridgeport, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Not My Kind of Bonding Experience
Company prom queen on regional conference call: Are we prospecting for donors who are interested in maternal morbidity?
International Nonprofit
Washington, DC
Overheard by: No, butter is not a carb.
Director of operations: I can drink a whole bottle of cough syrup and operate a crane, and it doesn't bother me!
Kansas City, Missouri
Office drone: I'm going to go home, snuggle into bed, and eat pudding until I throw up. Then I'll feel better.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: He had a big bag of Valhrona pudding, too.
