Queer temp on phone: God, I hate Lynn*! I can never spend any long periods of time with her because we can never eat. Why does she have to be anorexic? Why can’t she just be bulimic so she can at least eat with me and then puke it all up later? Hell, she can even use my finger or toothbrush!
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jas
Supervisor: She always answers the phone. It’s just she forgets to talk.
200 West Oak
Fort Collins, Colorado
Girl on phone: I’ve been doing kegels for a week and I haven’t pooped. I think I’m doing something wrong.
In front of Hart Senate Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Neena
Programmer: I can't work in these conditions… I need beer.
Manhattan, New York
Manager: Literally, I am the entire choir, and you are preaching to me.
530 Means Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Boss: Damn it! My camera is dead again!
Receptionist: Didn’t you just replace those batteries a couple of days ago?
Boss: Yes.
Sales: Maybe you’re out of megapixels.
1003 Distribution Drive
Columbus, Ohio
Receptionist on phone: Of course I’m tired. I sit here for nine hours a day with no work to do. That’s gonna tire me out!
601 West 26th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Ty!
Manager: We should do it. I’m just concerned that the cost will be too exuberant for us to overcome.
180 Varick Street
New York, NY
Nurse #1: We’re short today, and so everyone is supposed to get one extra patient.
Nurse #2: I hate patients.
8260 Atlee Road
Mechanicsville, Virginia
Employee to another: There’s no telling with Farnsworth! There’s no rhyme to his means!
Winter Park
Orlando, Florida
