The day after the company picnic. . .
Female clerk #1: Was that the new guy playing volleyball? You know the one that keeps trying to adjust his hours.
Manager: Maybe he just needs to wear a jock strap all the time.
Female clerk #2: Adjust his hours! His schedule! Everything is code for crotch to you!
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
Coworker #1: I can’t believe the three of them just strolled right past my cubicle, and Karen* did not ask us if we wanted to go to lunch with them!
Coworker #2: She is so rude! You ready?
Coworker #1: Yeah, I’m starving.
Shier Rings Road
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Invisible Girl
Boss on speaker: Okay then, I’ll be over in about 30 minutes to look at what you’ve got for me.
Media person: Great, we’ll see you then.
Boss on speaker: …Great, now I have one more fucking thing to do today…Fuck…
Media person: Um…You’re still on speakerphone, buddy.
1901 North Shoreline Boulevard
Corpus Christi, Texas
Overheard by: The lowly intern
Coworker #1: What are we getting for lunch today?
Coworker #2: Wang.
Coworker #1: Again? I'm sick of Wang.
Coworker #2: That's a lie, you never get sick of Wang.
Glastonbury, Connecticut
Overheard by: Can't wait for my contract to end
Worker: What’s up with Charlotte*? Is she okay?
Supervisor: I honestly don’t know.
Worker: When I was pregnant, I worked all the way up ’til I dropped the load, and then I came back. Kids these days…
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Woman: So I had sex with the older guy.
Man: What? When was that?
Woman: Like a couple weeks ago.
Man: I can’t believe you didn’t tell me! You didn’t even text me…you know, I e-mail you all my sex.
United Nations
New York, NY
Lady peon: I can’t believe I wrote ‘Happy Birthday’ on that card.
Coworker: You did? Did anyone fix it?
Lady peon: They’re always passing around cards! How am I supposed to know it’s a sympathy card?! Then I go asking when we’re going to have cake!
Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Manager: So, can we finally take his picture off the home page?
Developer: What’s the matter? Do you have something against nipples?
Manager: I don’t even like the word ‘nipples.’ ‘Butter,’ that’s another word I don’t like.
Developer: You should meet a friend of mine. She doesn’t like the word ‘goggles’.
Centre St
New York
Executive: Where’s the resume I asked for? Where’s Bashir’s* resume? Goddammit, I can’t find that idiot’s resume. Stupid Indian.
Assistant: [Silent.]Executive: So anyways, have you been following this Don Imus thing?
420 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker: This room just reeks of failure.
Kirkland, Washington
