Frustrated girl: My stripper shoes won't fit in my bag!
Surry Hills
Sydney
Australia
Product Manager: You know, I don’t like playing dumb.
IT: Yeah, well, I don’t either, but sometimes I just have to.
6475 SW Fallbrook Place
Beaverton, Oregon
Designer: Here, just try it.
Writer: No.
Designer: Come on! Why are you being so stubborn?
Writer, shouting: I am not putting that in my mouth! It’s all limp!
Pause.
Writer, shouting into hallway: I was talking about French fries!
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Miel
Guy #1: Those lawyers are like rats, they know they suck but do it anyway.
Guy #2: Rats don’t know they suck…
210 Highwoods Blvd.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Hospital worker #1: Oh my God! Did you see those warts?
Hospital worker #2: No, I missed them.
Hospital worker #1: How could you miss them? Weren’t you holding the labia?
Hospital worker #2: No, that wasn’t me.
Hospital worker #1: Are you sure? I thought that was you.
Hospital Worker #2: No, I wasn’t holding any labia today.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Copy Editor: Hi, [Marco]. You just missed the porn.
Art Director: What?
Copy Editor: I’m serious. There was porn but I just deleted it. Spam. Usually they take out the pictures…
Art Director: Why didn’t I get the porn?
6100 Center Drive
Los Angeles, California
CSR #1: We’ve had problems like this all day.
CSR #2: Yeah, there’s something going on somewhere in Denmark.
28001 Napier Road
Wixom, Michigan
Annoyed peon: None of it rhymes! He rhymes ‘lizards’ with ‘chinchillas’ and ‘dogs’ with ‘scorpions.’
101 2nd Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: pinup
Coworker on phone: How can I help you? Ummm… Okay. Sir, is everything alright? Well, you seem to be breathing a little heavy. No, I can’t help you with that. You should probably go out and buy a magazine. I’m hanging up now sir [hangs up]. Fucking freaks.
Spring Street and Cleveland Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Ari
General manager: I don't know how you use this thing, with all the damn buttons everywhere.
Reporter: Well, that's the first thing I learned in typing class…where the keys are.
Waynesville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Just an editor
