Bimbo #1: I gotta go, I can’t be late to my class. It’s important.
Bimbo #2: What class?
Bimbo #1: Sociology. And by important, I mean I’m probably going to fail it.
1000 University Place
Newport News, Virginia
Bimbo #1: I gotta go, I can’t be late to my class. It’s important.
Bimbo #2: What class?
Bimbo #1: Sociology. And by important, I mean I’m probably going to fail it.
1000 University Place
Newport News, Virginia
Employee #1: Blacks, blacks everywhere! Stupid blacks! I can’t do anything with them. They just take over.
Employee #2: Cletus*, quit playing solitaire and do some work.
Downtown
Missoula, Montana
Overheard by: non-profit ninja
Writer: I told you that duck was evil.
Designer: I know.
Writer: But you kept trying to squeeze him in the layout anyway.
Designer: I know. He looked so tempting when I first saw him! But that duck was the spawn of Satan.
Writer: I told you he was a freak.
Designer: He lured me in!
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: I don’t really want to know.
Coed #1: He had told me not to do anything special for his birthday. He said to forget he was having a birthday at all. But then he came over, and I could tell that he was down.
Coed #2: Because it was his birthday, and he was thirty.
Coed #1: Yeah.
Coed #2: And he’s dating an eighteen-year-old.
Coed #1: Shut up. So then we had sex? And it wasn’t, like, the most amazing time, but I faked it. But, like, really over the top? And he was happy the rest of the day!
University & College Avenues
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: over 30
Customer: Excuse me, miss!
Waitress: Yes, sir?
Customer: My soup is too soupy.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry, sir, if your soup is too soupy, but it is soup.
Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: he deserved it
CEO: I read a study that said that 50% of Canadians disapprove of Americans.
Employee: Yeah, I guess they just don’t agree with many of the US’s recent actions.
CEO: No, it’s because they’re jealous of Americans.
Employee: Err, that’s perhaps a somewhat US-centric view…
CEO: I’ve been to Canada. I’ve seen it firsthand. They are very jealous of us.
Employee: Actually, now that you mention it, I’m surprised it was only 50%.
Frederick, Maryland
Overheard by: poj
Little girl, pointing at Ann Coulter’s Godless: Who’s that lady, daddy?
Dad: She’s some crazy lady who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Little girl: She looks like she should be in movies.
Dad: [Shocked silence]Little girl: But not very good movies.
Dad: Ha! That’s my girl.
Auntie’s Bookstore
402 West Main Avenue
Spokane, Washington
Peon: I wanted to show you this order. I think someone dropped the ball.
Sales associate: Let’s see whose order it is…Oh, it’s Ryan’s*. And he’s out this week.
Peon: Uh-oh.
Sales associate: See what happens when you go on vacation? Your balls get dropped!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Supervisor: Different day, same shit.
Employee: That’s my favorite saying! “Different day, same shit.”
Supervisor: We probably shouldn’t swear; I don’t want to offend the customers.
Employee: Probably.
Supervisor: You know what my favorite saying is? “Fuck that!”
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Manager: You know, people a long time ago, people like Jesus, they weren’t fat.
2904 Rodeo Park Drive East
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Overheard by: in the office next door
