Co-worker #1: What are you up to tonight?
Co-worker #2: After the week I’ve had, I’m getting so drunk I pee on something.
Co-worker #1: Cool.
College Station Drive
Macon, Georgia
Co-worker #1: What are you up to tonight?
Co-worker #2: After the week I’ve had, I’m getting so drunk I pee on something.
Co-worker #1: Cool.
College Station Drive
Macon, Georgia
Coworker: I have one word for this project: absolutely ridiculous.
111 Huntington
Boston, Massachusetts
Patient: So how is your blood pressure?
Dentist: Oh, it’s just fine. Thanks.
Dentist winces.
Dentist: Except when people bite my finger. When people bite my finger, it shoots way, way up.
105 Terrebonne Road
Grafton, Virginia
Nurse on phone: I’m sorry, she said she doesn’t want to talk to you… Uh huh… Well, we can’t make a patient talk to someone on the phone… I’m sorry, that’s what she said. You’re her husband, right? Oh, you’re her mother! Just a moment, please.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Admin: Do you know who dropped this off?
Manceptionist: No
Admin: Well, then do you know what they looked like?
Manceptionist: An old white lady with curly hair.
Admin: Are you sure she wasn’t a black man, because Allan* said it was a forty-year-old black guy.
Office manager: Not unless he rolled himself in baby powder before he came in here.
Manceptionist: No. The black guy dropped off a manilla envelope and the old lady dropped off that.
Admin: This is a manilla envelope.
Manceptionist: Oh, then yeah the black guy dropped it off.
Allan: Well the black guy was definitely more attractive.
Office manager: And now we know which way you swing.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Coworker: Not only am I an asshole here, I’m an asshole at home, too!
1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: shaun
Employee #1: What are we collecting for?
Employee #2: Shelly* crashed her car and we are helping her out.
Employee #1: What? Has she never heard of insurance? Uh uh, I ain’t putting in!
1046 George Town
Grand Cayman
Overheard by: not throwing in either
Secretary: So, the next time you shut the door to take one of your sex calls, I’m going to nail it closed!
311 Main Road
Point Mugu, California
Overheard by: mookie
Female: My nipples are boring.
Male: Does our insurance cover that?
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Lunchbreaker: Do you want half my cheeseburger?
Worker: No.
Lunchbreaker: Oh, d’oh. I forgot.
Worker: If I’m going to eat meat again, I wanna eat a slab of beef that is over thirty dollars. I want to make sure that when I’m in the bathroom with cramps, that it is worth it.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
