Suit #1: Hey, how are you? Haven’t seen you in forever! Still married?
Suit #2: Yup, expecting my first.
Suit #1: Really! When?
Suit #2: November 7th. Bitch finally finished her PhD so she could work, and now she’s pregnant!
383 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Co-worker #1: Wanna go in, say…10 minutes? Or do you need longer?
Co-worker #2: How about 15?
Co-worker #1: I knew that was what you were going to say!…I think I wasted my wish when I said, “I’d like to know what people are
going to say, right before they actually say it.”
1835 Terminal Drive
Richland, Washington
Pudgy guy in lift: A six-week holiday tells you just how much you hate your job.
Female colleague: So, what are you going to do? Get out of here?
Pudgy guy: Well, I can't do anything else… I could go back to geology.
New South Wales
Australia
Coworker #1: Man, this is discolored.
Coworker #2: Yeah, you probably licked it.
Coworker #1: I hate that. Licking always discolors things.
Austin, Texas
Employee #1: I can’t believe they made that bitch Employee of the Month.
Employee #2: Me, neither.
Employee #1: I’m going to the general manager.
Employee #2: Yeah, I’ll back you up.
Later.
Boss: Who the hell told her that was a good idea to come see me?
Employee #2: I don’t know, I tried to stop her.
999 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, Utah
Courtyard dweller #1: I am not sure I should hire him.
Courtyard dweller #2: Why? He seems cool enough.
Courtyard dweller #1: I asked him what he was listening to on his iPod when he walked in.
Courtyard dweller #2: Yeah, and?
Courtyard dweller #1: He was listening to Celine Dion.
Courtyard dweller #2: Enough said.
10050 Wolfe Road
Cupertino, California
CSR, sighing at computer: Jesus hates me. [Alarmed when notices customer] I didn’t mean that.
Customer: No, it’s okay. He probably does.
1400 Apalachee Parkway
Tallahassee, Florida
Boss: Why hasn’t the mail come in yet?
HR: We have a new postal carrier and she hasn’t come in yet.
Boss: Is she nice looking?
HR: Well, she’s inconsistent. Sometimes she delivers at 2:30, sometimes it’s 1:00.
Boss: What has that got to do with how she looks?
HR: It doesn’t. Welcome to HR.
81 Apsley Street
Hudson, Massachusetts
New office manager: My rear end makes a god-awful noise!
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Josh
Coworker #1: What radio station do you listen to on your way to work?
Coworker #2: I listen to a Christian station so I can prepare myself for dealing with you assholes.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: one of the assholes
