Sales assistant #1: Man, I hate Glen* — becomes a manager and gets all crazy.
Sales assistant #2: What’s he makin’ you do?
Sales assistant #1: Sweep the whole service alley! Man, sometimes I just wanna hit that guy. I’ve been here two years, and he makes me, the head sales assistant, do the crap work.
Sales assistant #2: [Stares.]Sales assistant #1: He’s right behind me, isn’t he?
Sales assistant #2: Yup.
3709 East Central Texas Expressway
Killeen, Texas
Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Lady peon #1: If we keep working at this rate we are A — going to get sick, B — going to be tired, and C — going to hate each other!
Lady peon #2: … You forgot D — divorced.
Tallahassee, Florida
Male Co-worker: Are my ears bleeding?
Female Co-worker: I didn’t know I was that loud. I’m sorry. I had the volume down.
Male Co-worker: It’s just your voice, you’re loud. I have excellent hearing. Put it this way, I can hear a snake piss on cotton.
5 Times Square
New York, NY
Overheard by: Tamika J.
Woman #1: I feel bad he’s stuck talking to her. I feel like I should rescue him.
Woman #2: Oh, they deserve each other; they’re both full of shit.
Woman #1: But his is a different kind of shit.
Woman #2: Yeah; his is bull, hers is horse.
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Female suit: This chair is too high. My feet barely touch the floor. I should order a step stool from the Office Supplies Department. Do you have the catalog?
Male suit: They have stool samples in there?
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Engineer #1: What the hell were you thinking when you wrote this code?
Engineer #2: Boobs.
Engineer #1: Huh?!
Engineer #2: Truthfully, it’s likely I was thinking about boobs.
Columbia, Maryland
Supervisor: Isn’t it just great how college kids today have such a mastery over electronics but not even the remotest grasp on the English language?
19555 West Bluemound Road
Waukesha, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Mike
IT to coworker: No, I am not taking my muffin into the bathroom!
Carbondale, Illinois
Office manager, on the phone: Which one of Mommy’s boyfriends beat you badly enough as a child to turn you into the bitter, empty, hollow shell of a human being you are today?
Supervisor, to trainee: See? That’s why we have to answer the phone quickly in this office: to keep the managers from picking up the phone. Ever.
221 Corporate Gateway Boulevard
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Geobaldi
