Director: I don’t think that will cut the mustard.
Manager: You mean “pass muster”?
Director: No, it’s “cut the mustard!”
Manager: I think you’re trying to say you cut the cheese.
8001 Irvine Center Drive
Irvine, Calif.
Overheard by: Pffft
Director: I don’t think that will cut the mustard.
Manager: You mean “pass muster”?
Director: No, it’s “cut the mustard!”
Manager: I think you’re trying to say you cut the cheese.
8001 Irvine Center Drive
Irvine, Calif.
Overheard by: Pffft
Woman #1: I’m pregnant again.
Woman #2: On purpose?
Woman #3, sighing: I need a rest from all these ass-wipes that work here. I need a little hospital- and daytime TV R and R.
Montvale, New Jersey
Counselor: Is that a Tupac T-shirt? You’re five. Tupac wasn’t alive when you were born. What do you know about Tupac?
Kid: I know the haters killed him.
Counselor: Touché.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: SB
Accountant: This chicken [Sue] brought in is yummy. I’m just going to take a break to eat it here rather than take it back to my desk. I don’t trust myself not to get my paperwork all greasy.
Supervisor: That’s why I’m going to make a sandwich out of it.
Secretary: Oh, I don’t care about greasy fingers. All I do is handle incoming checks all day.
401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
Supervisor: You’re either talking to yourself, singing to yourself, thinking about talking to yourself, or thinking about singing to yourself. Am I right?
4708 Lacey Boulevard SE
Lacey, Washington
Overheard by: Chris Shard
Marketing guy: I don’t want you IT guys wasting a lot of time figuring out what’s wrong before you fix it!
228 East 86th Street
New York, NY
Worker #1: Check it out, [Brad]’s actually being useful!
Worker #2: I don’t believe it. And I’m not even going to look because I refuse to look at things that I know are lies.
740 Dundas Street East
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Cashier #1: What do you think of, you know, when people stick random Zs into words? Like, ‘For shizzle, my nizzle’?
Cashier #2: Man, I hate it when people do that. They sound like they ain’t got no speech.
8700 East 63rd Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Jedusor
Co-worker #1: Does she always send emails in 72 point font?
Co-worker #2: Oh, that’s “mad” typing.
Co-worker #1: How should I respond to this?
Co-worker #3: You should reply using 86 point font.
Co-worker #2: They don’t make 86 point font. I’ve tried it before. You should use 8 point font in Bernhard Fashion BT or some other font that’s hard to read.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I’ll do that. She won’t be able to read it.
Co-worker #2: That’ll really piss her off.
620 Greison Trail
Newnan, Georgia
Boss: She’s just too crazy for me. She’s…what’s the word? Phonetic!
Associate: She sounds things out?
480 San Antonio
Mountain View, California
