Teacher: This is David from Israel. Do you have any questions for David?
Senior student: Yes. Do you have air conditioning in your tents?
High School
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: IsraeliTexan
Teacher: This is David from Israel. Do you have any questions for David?
Senior student: Yes. Do you have air conditioning in your tents?
High School
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: IsraeliTexan
Jr. Developer: What we need is an alien invasion.
Deveveloper #11: We have one. Mexicans.
Jr. Developer: [sigh] What we need is an extraterrestrial alien invasion.
Developer #2: Boy, you sure have it out for the aliens.
Developer #1: I can’t help it. I’m a xenophobe.
Jr. Developer: The whole world is xenophobic. We need the extraterrestrial invasion in order to unite the globe and to make us stop fighting amongst ourselves.
Developer #1: Until after they left.
Jr. Developer: No, because they came from space, there could always be more of them. As paranoid humans, we have to hunt them down and exterminate them all in order to protect ourselves.
Pause
Jr. Developer: Besides, they might have oil.
501 Corporate Centre Drive
Franklin, Tennessee
Overheard by: Brian
Customer: Hi, I’d like to make a return.
Cashier: Ok, do you have your receipt?
Customer: Yeah, here it is.
Cashier, after looking at receipt for a few seconds: Ma’am, this is from Walgreens.
Customer: Oh…[looks around the store in bewilderment] Where am I?
Longs Drugs
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Rep: The King of Nepal has declared martial law and has cut off all
communication, so I cannot check the status of that rug order…
41 East 57th Street
New York, NY
Coworker to another: “Capone” as in the gangster, or “Capone” like the country?
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Queen Report Monkey
Coworker: Wait…John Ratzenberger?
430 Main Avenue
Norwalk, Connecticut
Maintenance guy: They shoulda had a Puerto Rican pope. Barbecue every weekend!
335 East 45th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Palaverist
Implementation person: I usually don’t get pregnant from moving into a new apartment.
Operations person: But that’s the first step, though.
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York
Coworker: Apparently, according to German law, I'm entitled to a castle.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Matt McLaughlin
Accounts Payable: I told you I shipped that invoice.
Accounts Receivable: It says on the label it was returned for address.
Accounts Payable: I wrote the right address. It says, “Little Rock, Kansasaw”!
Accounts Receivable: Oh, okay. Don’t know why it got returned, then.
2000 Plainfield Pike
Cranston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Oh no, they were serious
Coworker #1: He’s Cajun.
Coworker #2: Cajun?
Coworker #1: Yeah, he is from New Orleans.
Coworker #2: What color are they?
Latham, New York
Overheard by: Parker
