Program manager #1, in midst of cubical maze: Hey, where did all that bacon go?
Program manager #2, chanting happily: Bacon bacon bacon!
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Program manager #1, in midst of cubical maze: Hey, where did all that bacon go?
Program manager #2, chanting happily: Bacon bacon bacon!
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Cube rat to another: I just wouldn't be able to sleep with myself if I did something like that to someone.
Oceanside, California
Geeky cashier: How are you pay'n for this?
Guy in a hurry: Cash.
Geeky cashier: Like cash, cash?
Guy in a hurry: What?
Best Buy
Newmarket
Ontario, Canadia
Crackhead: I know you… you are that guy from TV.
Ryan Seacrest: Yeah… it’s me
Crackhead: You’re that guy from Fear Factor.
Ryan Seacrest: No… I’m on that other show, American Idol… You might have heard of it?
Crackhead: Look at me… I ain’t got no TV.
6th Street
Austin, Texas
Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn't really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.”
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn't recognize her.
Des Moines, Iowa
Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?
Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California
Trainee: This customer is mad because we won't cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won't stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He's gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won't cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This… uh… Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I'm sorry.
Riverview Parkway, San Diego
Boss: Natasha*, is there something wrong?
Natasha: My friend just texted me saying that she’s sitting next to Orlando Bloom.
Boss: Tell him he’s fired if he doesn’t get here in five minutes.
Employee #2: Boss, he’s an actor.
Boss: I don’t give a rat’s ass what he aspires to be. I emailed everyone yesterday saying that this meeting was very important.
Natasha: Mr. Jones*, he’s a Hollywood actor. He doesn’t work—
Boss, very angry: —I see. That’s what he says, huh? He’s fired then!
Employee #2: Seriously, Boss, he doesn’t work here. He is just an actor who happened to sit next to Natasha’s friend.
Boss: So how the fuck do you dare to interrupt my meeting with some bullshit talk on a psycho employee who thinks he’s in Hollywood?!
270 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: working for an oblivious boss
Co-worker #1: What’s the matter?
Co-worker #2: I’m cold.
Co-worker #1: How can you be cold? It’s Friday.
Co-worker #2: …What?
1944 East Sky Harbor Circle
Phoenix, Arizona
Office radio just played ‘High Hopes,’ by Frank Sinatra.
Flaky girl: What’s a ‘rubber tree plant’? Is it, like, a plant made of rubber, or a plant you get rubber from?
Yuppie girl: It’s a Rubber. Tree. Plant. So, like, a plant-tree.
Flaky girl: What’s that?
Yuppie girl: Like, a baby tree.
Flaky girl: So, a baby tree is a plant?
Yuppy girl: Well, it’s like how a baby duck is a duckling. It’s not really a duck.
Flaky girl: So, a baby is not really a human?
Yuppie girl: So it would be easy for the ant to move it.
St. Kilda Road
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: I Dont Have Very High Hopes For These Two
