Director: Hey, you got a tape measure?
Ops Coordinator: What do you need a tape measure for?
3 Nationwide Plaza
Columbus, Ohio
Director: Hey, you got a tape measure?
Ops Coordinator: What do you need a tape measure for?
3 Nationwide Plaza
Columbus, Ohio
Office worker: Check out this description in this help wanted ad. “Customer relations: Must have the ability to communicate effectively both internally and externally with all customers.”
Aspen, Colorado
Cube rat #1: My mouse is being such a pain lately.
Cube rat #2: You should get one of those mouses that, y’know, doesn’t have a cord. Oh, man, what are those called, again?
Cube rat #1: Um, a cordless mouse?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: I work with monkeys
Co-worker on phone: When you get out of the subway station start walking North–
Manager: Don’t tell them that…your North is different from my North and it’s a tarantula downpour outside. You don’t want them walking the wrong way in the rain.
Co-worker: Everyone’s North is the same and it’s torrential downpour.
Manager: Everyone’s North is the same? I always get my Norths mixed up.
535 8th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Angie Rowe
Dumbest: He said he had a stomach ache so I gave him some Aflac–you know, rolodex?
Less Dumb: Antacids? Rolaids?
7th and Congress
Austin, Texas
Receptionist: Hello! Thank you for calling Avon Safety*, where safety comes first. How may I direct your call?
Voice #1: How do I direct the call?
Voice #2: [indecipherable]Voice #1: I don’t know. That’s all it says…
Receptionist: Hello? This is not a recording.
Voice #1: She said it’s a recording.
Receptionist: No! This is not a recording! Hello?
Voice #1: What do I do?
Voice #2: Hang up.
Avon, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Fae
Purchasing: Hey, can we print from Word?
Marketing: Ah…What?
2801 Red Lion Road
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Boss: Mmmm! This pizza’s good.
Employee: Oh, yeah. This deep dish one is great.
Boss: Oh, yeah. I saw that one, but it looked too weird to try.
Employee: Yeah, it’s Chicago style.
Boss: Oh, that’s why. I like just good old American-style pizza.
Frost Bank Building
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: dizzle
Man: *Erica, the phone’s for you.
Old coworker: What?
Man: It’s for *Erica!
Old man: Oh, ok. [picks up the phone] Hello?… Oh, hold on. [puts phone down] *Erica, the phone’s for you!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Office peon: No matter how many pairs of underwear you have, if you don’t do your laundry, eventually you will run out.
501 Jackson Street
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: Laughing at everyone
