General Idiocy

Employee: Hey, it’s The Bobster! I was just out–
Bob: Seriously, why did you just add “the” and “ster” to my name?

27450 Ynez Road
Temecula, California

Overheard by: Jake Glazier

Paralegal: I know there's Chinese food, and there's Japanese food, but is there Korean food?
Coworker: What? Of course there is!
Paralegal: What's the difference?
Coworker: Countries.

Port Washington, New York

Peon #1: It’s written mostly from the perspective of the dog…
Peon #2: So is it fiction?

Publisher’s office
New York, New York

Receptionist on phone: Mom, there are no pictures of them in the paper. I don’t want to live in a decapitated house!

Lincoln Highway
Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Assistant Girl

Office guy: I was using the adjective, not the dwarf.

Manhattan, New York

Sergeant: I need you to call an ambulance for a 32-year-old pregnant woman.
Control room operator: What do I tell them is wrong with her?
Sergeant: Well, she’s pregnant!

Clark County Detention Center
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: cro

JP Morgan Office Manager: Do he know he have a meeting? Her said he have a meeting.

38 W. 75th Street
New York, NY

Project manager, regarding principal of firm: He has been driving around with his windshield wipers on because he can't figure out how to turn them off, do you really think he will understand this?

98th & Broadway
New York City, New York

Lauren*: So I went on this diet and I was eating cream of mushroom soup. And I thought, “wow, this is awfully thick. It's like pudding!” Then I realized you're supposed to put water in it.
Boss: Jesus Christ, Lauren*!
Lauren*: I know, right?
Boss: Why did we hire you again?

Fontana, California

Overheard by: Aeirlys

Coworker, about a newborn: Then her husband cut the Biblical cord…

171 17th Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia