Lauren*: So I went on this diet and I was eating cream of mushroom soup. And I thought, “wow, this is awfully thick. It's like pudding!” Then I realized you're supposed to put water in it.
Boss: Jesus Christ, Lauren*!
Lauren*: I know, right?
Boss: Why did we hire you again?
Fontana, California
Overheard by: Aeirlys
Coworker, about a newborn: Then her husband cut the Biblical cord…
171 17th Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia
Admin: Do you need help with anything?
Engineer: Nobody ever asks that here. What are you up to?
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Overworked
Teacher #1: What are they raising all this money for?
Teacher #2: For this lady in the cleaning crew. Apparently, her purse was stolen and she lost nine hundred bucks that she was planning to send home to her family in Mexico.
Teacher #1: Where’s my nine hundred bucks? Since I started working here, I lost everything.
444 Pleasantville Road
Briarcliff Manor, New York
Boss, looking at St. Patrick's parade: Oh, look, it's the St. Patrick's parade, I just love Greek food!
Neptune, New Jersey
Overheard by: Karen
Co-worker #1: Wow! That’s the longest email I’ve ever gotten from a customer.
Co-worker #2: Really? What is it?
Co-worker #1: [Kateunderscorelee]@yahoo.com
Co-worker #2: That’s not long…Oh! Um, do you know what an “underscore” is? You don’t spell it out.
1001 Roeder Avenue
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Chris Shard
Employee on phone with customer: I just need to do a couple of other things, cross my Xs and circle my Os. Then I can get back to you.
Staten Island, New York
Overheard by: That Staten Island Guy
Cube monkey: Why do things that happen to stupid people always happen to me?
Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Co-worker #1: Wanna go eat lunch with us? We’re having Ethiopian.
Co-worker #2: Ew! You’re going to be eating beetles and shit.
Co-worker #3: Do we have to bring our own leaf to eat off of?
214 West 39th Street
New York, New York
Customer: Ummm… What's in a veggie sandwich?
(short pause)
Employee: Uh, veggies.
(short pause)
Customer: Oh. Okay. I'll have a veggie sandwich.
Subway Sandwich Shop
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: 'Chelle
