Principal: I don’t want the upgrade if it means I have to learn something new. I don’t ever want to have to learn anything new.
1123 Broadway
New York, NY
Principal: I don’t want the upgrade if it means I have to learn something new. I don’t ever want to have to learn anything new.
1123 Broadway
New York, NY
401k advisor: How nice to see you! How’s your daughter doing? Is she back in Iran?
Co-worker: What?
401k advisor: Isn’t she in Iran? Or…Iraq?
Co-worker: She is in Israel in the army.
401k advisor: Oh, sorry, I get all those “I” places mixed up.
2300 E. Prospect Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Older woman: It isn’t good for your metabolism to eat too little.
Younger woman: Yeah, I remember when I was a kid and saw those starving African kids on TV. I said, “They aren’t fat, look at their bellies!” That’s what happens when you don’t eat enough, you get bloated.
1500 University Drive
Billings, Montana
Co-worker #1: Do you want to go to lunch?
Co-worker #2: I’m on a diet.
Co-worker #1: But we’re going to get ice cream afterward.
800 E. 96th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Office Manager: I have to leave to go to physical therapy. I’m not sure how long it will take but I’ll definitely be back before I leave.
1230 York Avenue
New York, NY
Editor: Oh, get me a cinnamon roll too. Here’s a twenty.
Reporter: A twenty? The only people that have money in the middle of the week are drug dealers.
169 West Nepessing Street
Lapeer, Michigan
Lawyer: Then why did you have sex with your cousin while she was sleeping?
Client: I honestly thought she wanted it. Really, I would never do anything to hurt her. I think of her like a sister.
Lawyer: Perhaps we shouldn’t put you on the witness stand.
2605 E. Cliff Road
Burnsville, Minnesota
VP: Do we really need all 3 engines to fly the plane?
Planner: I think so, it’s a full plane.
VP: What if the plane is half full? Half the engines?
5001 34th Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Hair salon receptionist: My last boyfriend cheated on me.
Nail girl: Oh, that’s terrible. I had one boyfriend cheat on me in the past, too.
Hair salon receptionist: Well, you know what they say, “Hindsight is 24/7.”
3202 E. Los Angeles Avenue
Simi Valley, California
Overheard by: Bruce Bristol
Dell Support operator: OK, sir, now I’m going to need you to insert your System CD. Do you have that handy?
Irish customer: Is dat dis Pentanium ting?
The other listeners on conference laugh.
Dell Support operator: Excuse me, sir, there’s a lot of background noise. I’m just going to turn off the other microphones.
–As a novel approach to caller boredom while waiting for a techSupp droid to become free, Dell have instituted a situation where callers get to listen in while said droid deals with the calls ahead of one in the queue.
So the overhearing was actually pretty widely geographically
distributed, between:
The charmin’ Irish Callcentre colleen, who was wherever in Ireland Dell have their support centre;
Her interlocutor, who by his accent was also in that country;
The various other listeners-in, who might have been anywhere in
Europe;
Me, at Long Lane, Newbury, England.
Overheard by: CDWriter
Co-worker #1: You need to use more tact.
Co-worker #2: Attack what?
Co-worker #1: No, tact. T-A-C-T.
Co-worker #2: What’s that?
Co-worker #1: Exactly.
845 Third Avenue
New York, NY
