Boss: If he does that I’m going to go down there and beat the fucking crap out of him. They will have to call the cops just to refrain me.
120 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Training Sherpa
Boss: If he does that I’m going to go down there and beat the fucking crap out of him. They will have to call the cops just to refrain me.
120 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Training Sherpa
Boss: He can’t talk to me like I’m his little brother. He needs to act like it’s God on the phone.
159 Jackson Road
Berlin, New Jersey
Overheard by: R. Collins
Agent: How do I reset the copier?
Assistant: Press the Reset button.
Agent: Which one is the Reset button?
Assistant: The big yellow one labeled “Reset”.
Agent: Oh.
16501 Ventura Boulevard
Encino, California
Bank teller: Are you sure you sent the wire?
Branch manager: Yeah. I sent it to Sweden. Or Switzerland. Or some country that starts with an “S”.
1281 Fulton Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Bee
Boss: What should we call it? Try thinking animal names.
Employee #1: What about “Kumquat”?
Employee #2: A kumquat isn’t an animal.
Boss: I like your thinking though.
45 Main Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Office girl: I know she’s somewhere but not here right now.
555 Broadway
New York, NY
Boss: I need this like I need a second crucifixion.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Lunching lady #1: It’s the fault of the non-Catholics and non-believers that Terri Schiavo didn’t wake up Easter morning.
Lunching lady #2: It’s so true, you’re so right. They just don’t believe.
401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut
Overheard by: Not a Catholic
IT guy: So my coworker gave you your fixed laptop back?
Finance guy: Yeah. Well, really, I looked into his office and saw it sitting on a desk, and I ducked in and took it. So, you know, same thing.
2000 Spring Road
Oak Brook, Illinois
Overheard by: George L.
Consultant: So what is this meeting about, anyway?
Boss: Why is everyone so concerned about this meeting?
Consultant: Well, for starters it’s 3 hours long–
Boss: Don’t worry, we can’t fire all of you…
595 Madison Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Trouble
