Employee to another: There’s no telling with Farnsworth! There’s no rhyme to his means!
Winter Park
Orlando, Florida
Employee to another: There’s no telling with Farnsworth! There’s no rhyme to his means!
Winter Park
Orlando, Florida
Editor: I keep getting these Facebook updates from you when you're driving…
Salesperson: I'm not driving. I'm at a stoplight.
Designer: A green one?
Augusta, Georgia
Woman #1: Mandy received her first Precious Moments figurine.
Woman #2: I hate Precious Moments. They steal your soul while you sleep, that's why their eyes are so big.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Dude to employee who just returned from Florida vacation: So were there more Mexicans in Miami or in Florida?
Employee who just returned from Florida vacation: That is the dumbest thing I have ever been asked.
Richmond West
Toronto, Canadia
Manager in sales meeting: I want you to ask for my help. I'm like a tool in your tool box. I am a tool.
Sacramento, California
Man: Was this in DC?
Woman: No! It was in Maryland, where I live! Right behind my condo building! I was so upset!
Man: Huh.
Woman: If I had a gun, I tell you what: I would have shot him as he was running away. I was so upset. The little bitch would have been dead. [She exits the elevator] Have a blessed day!
5600 Fishers Lane
Rockville, Maryland
Hiring manager, after executives commented on physical appearance of new employee: I'm saving you all from litigation by not paying attention to any of you.
Executive one: No, you're not, “ugly” is not a protected class.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: So, I’ve been reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and I had no idea about the Toni Braxton-Taylor Hicks thing.
Coworker #2: … The what?
Coworker #1: You know, the false labor…
Coworker #2: You mean Braxton Hicks?
Coworker #1: Yes, Toni Braxton-Taylor Hicks. I had no idea it was called that.
Coworker #2: It’s not called that. Please stop calling it that.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: It’s REALLY not called that
Female office drone, about to answer ringing phone: Please don't be an idiot, please don't be an idiot…
(a minute later, as she puts the call on hold)
Damn! Another one!
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: She's Not Wrong…
Older coworker on phone: Don't worry, you are on my list of things to do today.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
