Employee geek #1: Where are those boxes that UPS brought earlier?!
Employee geek #2: The brown ones with white labels?
Employee geek #1: Yeah, those! I need them ASAP!
Employee geek #2: I saw them next to your mom’s bed last night! [Laughs.]Employee geek #1: What? How did they get there?! Shit!
200 Sampson Place
Seattle, Washington
Lady suit: My goal is not to be an idiot.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Applicant, explaining multi-year gap in employment history: I got sent to jail for stabbing a guy twelve times, but it was bullshit.
Manager: Oh yeah?
Applicant: Yeah. I only stabbed him six times; I just had two knives in my hand. It was bullshit.
Manager: Hmm. I see.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Pool Owner: Yes, I would like you to close my pool for the winter.
Clerk: Okay, great. Where is the pool located.
Pool Owner: In our backyard.
Clerk: Yes Ma’am I appreciate that since we have never found a permit approved for a front yard pool. Now what is the address of your pool?
Pool Owner: Was that a stupid answer?
Henninger Court
Chantilly, Virginia
Overheard by: SKippyMom
Saleswoman to IT guy: John, I need your help. My computer isn't working at all. I tried everything.
John: Okay, I'll be right over.
(goes over, takes a look)
John: Did you think to try to turn it on?
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dawn Elizabeth
Office mate on speakerphone: I need to send my printer back. It isn’t working.
CSR for printer company: Okay, I can set up a return shipment and get you a label and address to send yours back. What is your e-mail address, sir? [He relates e-mail address.] Okay, when you get the link on the e-mail I just sent you, print the FedEx label and put it on the box to ship it.
Office mate: Um, well, my printer is broken, which is why I am sending it back…
CSR: I understand that, sir, so what I have done to speed up the process is send you a shipping label all prepared for you to ship the box out.
Office mate: How am I supposed to do that if my printer is broken?!
CSR: Well, you print it up and put it on the box.
Office mate: Okay, when we are done with this, I would like to order an instructional DVD on how to setup my DVD player.
CSR: I’m not following you, sir. I thought your problem was with your printer. We don’t have DVD players.
Office mate: Dude, you’re killing me! Can I speak to a supervisor, please?
34th Street and 8th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Zoos
Coworker: Just to let you know, I need to leave at noon today because I have a leak.
Office manager: That sounds like a personal problem.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Manager: …because sometimes we get communications via electronic sending, sometimes through the telephone system.
650 South 6th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Jeff Anderson
Coworker #1: Where were you all day?
Coworker #2: Oh, I had to take an Excel class today.
Coworker #1: Oh, do you do any other types of dance?
Reading, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: I'm on this new diet.
Coworker #2: Oh yeah?
Coworker #1: Yeah, it's this diet where if you aren't hungry you don't eat.
Bloomington, Minnesota
