General Idiocy

Client: Guess who I met today?
Staff: Who?
Client: Some guy on the bus that used to go here, but I don’t know his name.

4558 Roswell Road
Atlanta, Georgia

Guy reading the paper: Elton John is going to try hip hop.
Young co-worker: That’s weird.
Gay co-worker: Who’s Elton John?

5500 Rings Road
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: amazed he didn’t know

Cashier: Will this be all?
Lady: I also want one Kabbalah. [Cashier looks at her, puzzled.] This dessert [points into case].
Cashier: Baklava, ma’am.

Port of Piraeus Café, 13th Street NW
Washington, DC

Employee: Would it be better to buy life insurance while I’m still alive?

4740 44th Avenue SW
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Lisa Marshall

Cubicle farmer: Did you know that George Bush is a genius?

55 East 52nd Street
New York, NY

HQ division head: Nothing is too good for down range, therefore down range shall get nothing.

U.S. Forces “Diplomatic Training”
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

Big fat receptionist: Ooh what is that?
Office worker #1: A caramel mochiatto from Starbucks.
Big fat receptionist: I hope you brought me one!
Office worker #2: Do you have any idea how many calories are in one of those?

200 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Sebastian O’Conner

Secretary: There was a black man who lived in my county. He was the only one. We called him Nigger Jim.
Co-worker: What?
Secretary: Oh, it was okay. He called himself that. He was retarded.
Co-worker: Where is he now?
Secretary: Prison.

130 East Main Street
Canton, Georgia

Worker #1: You have to move your car. You can't just park wherever you want. What do you think, that you're the queen bee?
Worker #2: No, that's you.
Worker #1: Right. Now that we got that straight, move your goddamn car!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Help me

Employee #1: Where is Great Britain?
Employee #2: I think it’s a city in Scotland or something.

Toronto, Canada

Male coworker: Why are you laughing so hard?
Female coworker: I have absolutely no idea, but her head is in my crotch!

Fairfax, Virginia