Worker #1: Who’s that?
Worker #2: What, the new temp?
Worker #1: Oh. What happened to the other lady?
Worker #2: She was too over-qualified.
Worker #1: What, and the new guy’s not? What is his experience?
Worker #2: Well, he was a turd farmer from poor Virginia.
Des Moines, Iowa
Assistant #1: What if you get a busy signal?
Assistant #2: That means it’s busy.
Assistant #1, after a long pause: Thank you.
450 N Street
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Assistant #3
Hygienist: What's the two bubbles with the line mean?
Office assistant: That's a percent symbol.
Dental Office
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: A
Manager: We’re hiring another producer in Quebec. And one thing that I think we all agree on is that his English has to be very, very well.
180 Varick Street
New York, New York
Receptionist: Good morning, ABC* machinery.
Customer: Good morning, can I speak to Bob*?
Receptionist: One moment, please.
Customer, under his breath: It's not morning!
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Jocelyn
Coworker on phone: I made some really good roasted vegetables with polenta last night, you should have been there. (pause) No, that's a placenta.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Shannon
Coworker: I can’t believe they raised the price of their chicken salads! I mean, chicken is, like, the bologna of meats!
1400 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Customer on phone: Can I get reimbursed for herbal remedies through my flexible spending account?
CSR #1: No. Holocaustic medicines are not eligible for reimbursement unless you receive them as part of doctor’s visit.
CSR #2: I think you meant holistic.
CSR #1: Whatever. Same thing.
2302 International Lane
Madison, Wisconsin
Employee, looking at a lawn chair: It reminds me of a wheelchair…without wheels!
Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Cheerleader: What’s that muscle called? My ‘gunna’?
Coach: What? Your gunna? What are you talking about?
Cheerleader, pointing to her groin: My gunna, it hurts.
Coach: You mean your groin?
Cheerleader: Yeah, my gunna hurts.
Coach: Jesus.
610 W 4th Street
Buchanan, Michigan
Overheard by: and this is my future?
