Customer on phone: Can I get reimbursed for herbal remedies through my flexible spending account?
CSR #1: No. Holocaustic medicines are not eligible for reimbursement unless you receive them as part of doctor’s visit.
CSR #2: I think you meant holistic.
CSR #1: Whatever. Same thing.
2302 International Lane
Madison, Wisconsin
Employee, looking at a lawn chair: It reminds me of a wheelchair…without wheels!
Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Cheerleader: What’s that muscle called? My ‘gunna’?
Coach: What? Your gunna? What are you talking about?
Cheerleader, pointing to her groin: My gunna, it hurts.
Coach: You mean your groin?
Cheerleader: Yeah, my gunna hurts.
Coach: Jesus.
610 W 4th Street
Buchanan, Michigan
Overheard by: and this is my future?
Blonde office bee: How's the apartment hunt going?
Brunette office bee: Not great. You know how stressful it is when you've reached the point where you absolutely have to find something?
Blonde office bee: Definitely. That's how I was the day that we went to Moncton and it wasn't until we went to the last store that I found a decent pair of black shoes.
Brunette office bee: Yeah… You've got it alright.
Prince Edward Island
Canadia
Overheard by: Confounded
Agent: So you went to Virginia Beach on your vacation?
Manager: No, I went to West Virginia.
Agent: Oh. Where’s Virginia Beach? In East Virginia?
10243 Genetic Center Drive
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Cat
Receptionist: Does the president have to pay the mortgage on the White House?
1600 Utica Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: wish she hadn’t voted
Saleswoman: Oh, you're also from Iran?
Woman: Yes.
Saleswoman: So do you all speak Islamic?
Miami, Florida
Parts store clerk #1 to parts store clerk #2: I don't know about taking this test. These words they use, I don't know where they get these words from. Maybe it's just me, cause I'm from the South.
Customer, chuckling: Them can't be real words, can they?
Parts clerk #1: No.
Parts clerk #2: You're just way too country to take that test.
Decatur, Tennessee
Employee on phone: How’s the weather there? Is it sunny?
Speaker: It’s raining.
Employee on phone: Oh. So is the sun shining?
Des Moines, Iowa
Intern: Candace’s* mom is sixty-five! And she’s had seven kids from, like, eight different guys.
1325 East-West Highway
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: mathwizrd
