Male coworker: They stole my icons!
IT guy: How can someone steal something inside of your computer?
Male coworker: They're not where I left them!
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Male coworker: They stole my icons!
IT guy: How can someone steal something inside of your computer?
Male coworker: They're not where I left them!
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Peon #1: My husband's Xbox died last night.
Peon #2: Oh, how sad. Were they close?
Sacramento, California
Managing director: Did you meet Daron* yesterday?
HR recruiter: Daron?
Managing director: I introduced him to you yesterday.
HR recruiter: Who?
Managing director: I did.
HR recruiter: No, you didn’t.
Managing director: … Maybe I’m going crazy. You know — Daron, with the dreads.
HR recruiter: With what?
Managing director: Dreads. You know — dreadlocks.
HR recruiter: Oh, I hate those.
Managing director: What? Dreadlocks have been around since the Bible.
HR recruiter: What?
Managing director: Since Samson and Delilah. Samson had dreads.
HR recruiter: Who did?
Managing director: Samson!
HR recruiter: You mean Daron?
Managing director: Who?
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Suit: Your last name is Smith. Are you related to a Nelson Smith?
Clerk: No, Smith is my marriage name. That reminds me; I need to file for divorce.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Security guard in lobby: Ma'am, you need to take the baby out of the pumpkin seat before you put the pumpkin seat through the x-ray machine.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Girl Friday
Employee: I have a few questions about wrapping up this project.
Supervisor: Great. Set up a meeting, I’m free all day.
Employee: How’s 11AM this morning?
Supervisor: I can’t make it then.
1111 Chester Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Make-up counter girl: … And can I interest you in our free gift?
Customer: Sure! What is it?
Make-up girl: It’s a real faux leather bag!
Department store, 34th Street
New York, New York
Brunette: So, like, she was totally found dead in her office.
Blonde: Omigod! Shut up!
Brunette: Ya. Like, Dr Wong found her dead one morning.
Blonde: Omigod! Shut up!
Brunette: It’s kind of fitting. I mean, she totally lived here at work anyway.
Blonde: Omigod! I would so totally die if someone found me dead in my office!
University of California, Davis
Overheard by: Research Monkey
Cube dweller: Well, you don’t want to be ambiguous in your genocide.
31355 Oak Crest Drive
Westlake Village, California
Employee #1, on ant infestation: I noticed there were a few just walking around by themselves on my desk.
Employee #2: Those are scouts! Kill them or they’ll go back and tell the others the coast is clear, then you’ll have a rope of them!
Employee #1: I know, so I tried breaking the legs on one of them hoping he’d go back and tell the others not to come, it’s not safe, but all he did was walk around in circles on my desk, so I just smashed him.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Employee #3
