White professional #1: Did you know that there’s a coming of age ceremony in Africa where the nephew has to blow the uncle?
White professional #2: No, there isn’t!
White professional #1: Yes, there is, I swear… [Turns to African-American coworker] Right, Kareem?
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Hermitage
Health clinic employee: That woman is one kooky cracker!
Manager: I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t call our patients ‘kooky.’
Health clinic employee: But you and Dr. Horowitz* call patients ‘crazy’ all the time. What’s the difference between ‘kooky’ and ‘crazy’?
Manager: I just don’t want you to call our patients ‘kooky.’
Health clinic employee: It’s still alright to call them ‘crackers’ though, right?
104 Market Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Management material: Can I have a job application? I came in last week for one but I lost it.
277 Coalinga Plaza
Coalinga, California
Overheard by: Jaime who deals with dumb people
Boss to tardy employee: I’m going to write you up with a verbal warning.
Employee: … Wait. What?
Boss: Don’t be smart.
Burnet Road
Austin, Texas
Editor #1 watching CNN: Can you imagine how hot JonBenet would be by now?
Editor #2: What?
333 N Meridian Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Hardware tech #1: He probably covered the screwdriver in vaseline and lit it on fire.
Hardware tech #2: Actually, it was a woman. I mean, how dangerous can a woman with a screwdriver be?
460 Hillside Street
Needham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: S. Griffin
CSR on phone: Yes, I know. I’m sorry, I am French.
Percepta, Sauchiehall Street
Glasgow
Scotland
Guy: You know, it’s really unfair we have 24-hour food, and some places have no food at all.
38th Street and I-465
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Mylisa Suzanne
CSR on phone: And what size product do you have?
Customer: Where do I find that?
CSR: It should be on the front of the label, probably on the bottom.
Customer: No, it’s not there. All it says there is ‘Eight fulozos.’
CSR: Uh… Do you mean ‘Eight fluid ounces’?
Customer: No… It says ‘Fulozos.’
1905 Aston Avenue
Carlsbad, California
Waitress: Hi guys, are you ready to order?
Frat boy: Oh, we’re not gay!
Diner, West College Avenue
State College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: 3rd Shift
