Coworker: He hit a Shetland pony in the head with a fence post.
Titusvlle, Florida
Overheard by: Hoss
Coworker: He hit a Shetland pony in the head with a fence post.
Titusvlle, Florida
Overheard by: Hoss
Sales manager #1: I just got a contract back from Denmark.
Sales manager #2: Denmark, Germany?
Sales manager #1: No. (pause) Denmark, Denmark.
Resort Hotel
Florida
Overheard by: Underpaid
Female grocery stocker to male co-stocker: I laugh when I’m nervous, I can’t help it.
Male co-stocker: Yeah?
Female grocery stocker: Yeah. It’s really bad on roller coasters, I crack up. And I always laugh before the first kiss… And I laughed when I saw my dog get hit by a car… But I felt bad about that.
Alton Road
South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: BARA
Cubicle dweller with too much free time: Do you think that at the paperclip company staples are outlawed?
Sarasota, Florida
Network engineer: Do you have a pen? I need to make a mental note.
305 North Drive
Melbourne, Florida
Female peon #1, in reference to cute co-worker: So, what happened with that guy you gave your number to?
Female peon #2: Oh, girl, I didn’t tell you?!
Female peon #1: No, what happened?
Female peon #2: Listen to this… he never called me, right? And I really wanted to know what was up with that. So, I walked over to him the other day and said, “Hi, how’s it going?” Well, we got to talking, and he said he was sorry he never called, but that he isn’t looking for a relationship right now… because he’s trying to concentrate on his relationship with Jesus Christ!
[Female peon #1 and eavesdropping co-workers break into laughter.]Female peon #2: Can you believe that? I was rejected for Jesus!
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Kitty
Boss: Why didn’t you have a cover letter on the copy to the client?
New employee: I didn’t know I was supposed to have one. I didn’t think to ask if I needed it.
Boss: From now on, if you don’t know the question, you should ask it.
1700 66th Street
St. Petersburg, Florida
Designer: So, David*, what are you doing tonight?
Deaf box office manager: I’m-on-eh-leh.
Designer: Oh, you’re going to get laid?
(deaf box office manager nods)
Designer: Well, that’s nice.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Customer: Do you have seven-packs of nuggets?
Cashier: We have eight or twelve.
Customer: Oh, wonderful. I’ll take twelve.
Orange City, Florida
Overheard by: laughing
Nurse: Have you ever done any other drugs? Cocaine? Meth?
Patient: I have loved meth since the day it was introduced to me.
Gall Boulevard
Zephyrhills, Florida
