Chick: ‘Cause, you know, if you’re fucking a guy and you need, say, 10 or 20 dollars, he should give it to you, no questions asked.
880 Roosevelt Boulevard
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: Norcross
Chick: ‘Cause, you know, if you’re fucking a guy and you need, say, 10 or 20 dollars, he should give it to you, no questions asked.
880 Roosevelt Boulevard
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: Norcross
Man screaming into cell and gesturing at the wall: I’m beneath the fucking girl with her fucking panties around her ankles! How could you miss me?!
Outside civil courthouse
Miami-Dade, Florida
Overheard by: also standing beneath the coppertone ad
Clerk: Ma’am I can’t take this money.
Lady: Why not? It’s good American money.
Clerk: Ma’am this money is from Canada.
Lady: Is Canada not the 50th state of the U.S. or are you stupid or something?
Clerk: I’m not the one that’s stupid.
13697 W. Colonial Drive
Winter Garden, Florida
Employee: I had more security before when I worked for the manager that died.
Grocery store
Sarasota, Florida
Overheard by: Not Buying Meat
Co-Worker #1: Are you going to the training class later today?
Co-Worker #2: No, I don’t have to. I was grandfather clocked into the old training.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Shopper #1: Like, look at this credit card. The numbers are raised. I wonder why they do that.
Shopper #2: It’s like Braille or something. They do it so blind people can read the numbers.
Oviedo Marketplace Mall
Oviedo, Florida
Reporter, about a job candidate: She seemed pretty good. She did have the makings of someone who was vaguely crazy.
East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: papergirl
Counter person: Hi, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like a dinner for twelve, please.
Counter person: Oh, I’m sorry. For orders that large you have to call catering at least twenty-four hours in advance.
Customer: Er, then how about two dinners for six?
Counter person: Oh, sure, we can do that.
Boston Market, Highway 60 and Limona Road
Brandon, Florida
Overheard by: Stefanie
Interviewer #1: You have had many jobs at that same company. Can you describe your work environment?
Forty-six-year-old proper woman: My company liked to move us around a lot so we got experience in different departments.
Interviewer #1: Was this a standard practice?
Woman: Oh, yes. They did that for everyone working at the restaurant’s HQ. Every six months we would move from department to department. We liked to call it “tossing the salad.”
Interviewer #1: Excuse me?
Interviewer #2: [Spits out his water.]Interviewers #3,4, and 5: [Look away and laugh uncontrollably]Woman: I got my salad tossed every six months, but in the past year moved it up to every three months. It’s all part of the manager training program.
Interviewer #6: Did you like getting your salad tossed?
Woman: Yes, I did.
Interviewer #6: It must take some getting used to. We have never tossed salads here, but that is not to say we won’t someday.
Woman: I would highly recommend it.
Church Street
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: PS
