Accounts manager (shouting): This is our biggest sales event of the year! This is going to be bigger than ever! Big! Big! Big!
Accounts clerk: Does that mean I should get an extra roll of nickels at the bank?
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
CFO, looking for chocolate: It looks like a goddess with flaming hair or an upside-down horse.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Natalie
Finance manager: Every time an e-mail outage occurs I'm working on something, and I have to start over. I need you to let me know an hour or so ahead of time next time the system is going to crash.
IT guy: Ummmmm…
Auburn, Indiana
Overheard by: dru
Bookkeeper: What is Susan’s last name?
Office Manager: Susan who?
812 Moorefield Park Drive
Richmond, Virginia
Boss: This is not an interactive meeting, so no feedback of any kind. Every customer who gives a commitment today will get a $350 Home Depot giftcard. This is only until the end of business today.
Loan Officer: But I got a customer commitment yesterday. Can I tell her that we will send her one?
Boss: Didn’t I just say that this meeting is not interactive? I won’t answer your stupid questions.
Loan Office: …So what’s the answer?
The boss storms out.
Loan Officer: I’ll just ask him later.
2700 Westchester Avenue
Purchase, New York
Income auditor guy: I want to buy my fiance a gift like make-up.
Income auditor gal: Cool, how much you set for it?
Income auditor guy: 30 Egyptian pounds.
Income auditor gal: You could buy a blusher with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well then, how about cheap make-up?
Income auditor gal: You can’t buy anything with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well how much do you think I need?
Income auditor gal: About 500 EGP to buy her one of those cute boxes that’s full of make-up and perfumes.
Income auditor guy: With 500 EGP, I could send her to a plastic surgeon and get change.
Translated from the Arabic.
Le Meridien Makadi Bay Hotel
South Hurghada, Egypt
Fat bank manager: I need to leave a deposit right on your lap.
Hot teller: Oh, dear lord.
Fifth Third Bank
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Accounts Payable: I wish sometimes I was tippin’ it at my desk.
Accounts Receivable: Tippin’ what?
Accounts Payable: You know, the bottle.
Accounts Payable: Yeah, but you gotta be a good alcoholic, and at least show up for work every day. That’s what I do.
2000 Plainfield Pike
Cranston, Rhode Island
Accountant: Thanks for keeping it organized while I was on vacation.
Female manager: No problem. I like it anal.
Chevy Chase Drive
Glendale, California
Manager: It's getting a little soft.
Accountant: You might not want to use a twig.
Toronto
Canadia
