Boss: He's really similar to my step dad–he had dark hair, and a long corso.
Girl: I'm sorry, a long *what*?
Boss, slowly: A long…corso?
Girl: Torso. Corset.
Boss: Hmm.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Smarter than her boss (obviously)
Boss: He's really similar to my step dad–he had dark hair, and a long corso.
Girl: I'm sorry, a long *what*?
Boss, slowly: A long…corso?
Girl: Torso. Corset.
Boss: Hmm.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Smarter than her boss (obviously)
Coworker: I can't believe he only gave us a 20,000$ spending limit.
Boss: Why?
Coworker: Because my daughter's first birthday was more than that! How am I going to find a place for twenty people that cheap?
Oak Brook, Illinois
Manager: Does anyone know anything about the new shift schedule?
Analyst: Karla tried to explain the new shift to me…then it got black…and I don't remember much…but then I woke up sucking my thumb and calling for my mom.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: Amy
Male coworker: So, I met my brother's married Russian fiancee over the weekend…
Female coworker: Those four words should never be in the same sentence!
Rochester Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: KDog
Legal consultant: What is the legal issue today?
Transferring girl: Well, this woman said she took her dead boyfriend's sperm in the hospital and now his mother wants it and said she'll be damned if she lets anyone have his baby. His mom also says she'll carry the baby herself if she has to to get a son.
Legal consultant (after pause): Okay, send her through.
Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Overheard by: Stan
Attorney on phone: The thing is that, it is not the teacher's responsibility to get your kids out of bed, it's yours.
Ellicott Square Building
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: wonders if they would make coffee while they were threre
Peon #1: So, I finally got my new car–it's a Scion.
Peon #2: Oh yeah, dude, you like?
Peon #1: Yeah, it's sweet. It's a standard.
Peon #2: Why?
Peon #1: Well, my brother only has one arm, so this way he can't borrow my car.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Office lady #1: At the bar my sister works at, they put jello shots in a syringe so you can just squeeze it back.
Office lady #2: Oh no, I like to feel it all over.
Pearl Street
Austin, Texas
Girl on elevator: How mad should I be that he is still publicly declaring love for someone else?
Friend: You could point it out, say, “You know, I'd feel better about all the time you spend texting your ex-skank if you took down that you love her on Facebook.”
Girl: I don't want to jump to conclusions or be crazy anymore, he said that she was like a sister.
Friend: It's really absurd to text that much though.
Girl: I don't know if maybe he meant like in The South?
Boston, Massachusetts
Librarian #1: I don't want to call my mother. She's just going to tell me that I need to lose weight.
Librarian #2: You are fine. You do not need to lose weight. As long as you can still walk without a cane, you don't need to lose weight. That's what I tell my doctor when he tells me to lose weight.
Stillwater, Oklahoma
