Washed or Unwashed Grandma?

Intern, after eating free coffee cake: This tastes like grandma.

Sacramento, California

Posted on May 21, 2009
California, Family, Interns & Temps, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences

…It Was Only the One.

Pregnant employee at coworker's baby shower: Oh, an anti-roll pillow! Thank you!
Male employee: What's it for?
Pregnant employee: To keep the baby from rolling onto his stomach and possibly suffocating in the crib.
Chatty woman: My two babies died from sleeping on their stomachs.
(stunned silence)
Chatty woman: Just kidding! (laughs)

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: office monkey extraordinaire

Posted on May 8, 2009
Accidents, Body Parts, Coworkers, Death, Family, Florida, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Strangers

Well, What's That Metal Thing Sticking Out Of Your Head?

Coworker #1: What are you talking about?
Coworker #2: I'm telling them how my parents almost aborted me.
Coworker #3, walking in: What are you guys talking about?
Coworker #2: It's a survival story!

Branchburg, New Jersey

Posted on May 7, 2009
Coworkers, Family, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Questions

She Thought It Was Important I Tell Everyone at the Office

Female coworker: So how's your wife?
Male coworker: Not good, actually.
Female coworker: Why, what's up?
Male coworker: Well, she's having pains…in her… Ummmm…baby area. Ummm…you know.

Brooklyn Center, Minnesota

Overheard by: adelhiede

Posted on May 7, 2009
Body Parts, Coworkers, Family, Health & Hygiene, Minnesota, Questions

Tonight: The Hardy Boys and the Can Opener Mystery

Manager on phone with kids: You two need to work out this SpaghettiO's issue on your own. I'm in a meeting!

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: CubeRat

Posted on May 1, 2009
Bosses, Family, Kids, Meals and Snacks, Meetings, On the phone, Texas

Call Me the Next Time You Can Wiggle Your Hands Free– Love Ya!

Employee on phone: I don't know if Sue* knows about the twin sister. I know Lucy* does–the maid–because they were kidnapped together. (pause) Oh. Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye!

Saratoga Springs, New York

Overheard by: Intrigued

Posted on April 27, 2009
Crimes, Employees, Family, New York, On the phone, Weirdness

It's Sweet That You Think You're Attractive, Bonnie

Coworker: Oh, what a cute baby! Maybe you'll have a baby that cute!
Pregnant coworker, looking at pic of cute baby on internet: I'm not counting on it.
Coworker: Ummm…why?
Pregnant coworker: Have you ever noticed how the most attractive people always have the ugliest babies? Yeah, I am not having a cute kid.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Noodle

Posted on April 24, 2009
Coworkers, Family, Internet, Oregon, Physical Appearance, Weirdness

And I Have Him Fill in for Me When I'm Hungover, Anyway.

Interviewer: So, can you drive a multi-position snowplow?
Interviewee: No. But my cousin can.

Department of Transportation
Denver, Colorado

Posted on April 22, 2009
Colorado, Family, Interviewers/Interviewees, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

I've Taken to Mailing Sperm to Strangers

Engineer #1: How's the baby?
Engineer #2: Great!
Engineer #1: I'm thinking of having one soon!
Engineer #2: Really? You're married?
Engineer #1: No, working on it.
Engineer #2: Oh, wow! You got engaged…congratulations!
Engineer #1: No, not yet.
Engineer #2: Do you even have a girlfriend?
Engineer #1: Working on it. It's hard to recruit women to come here…

New York

Overheard by: How?

Posted on April 17, 2009
Engineers, Family, Feelings, New York, Relationships

From Now On, Call Me Nat King Coleslaw

Tired CEO, coming out of his office: Ugh. I feel like a big, huge…stuffed cabbage.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Lowly analyst girl

Posted on April 8, 2009
Bosses, Family, Meals and Snacks, New York

Family