VP on phone: Yes, ma’am. Yes, ma’am, it’s nine inches by five inches, or something like that…
Mechanicsville, Virginia
Overheard by: Alan
VP on phone: Yes, ma’am. Yes, ma’am, it’s nine inches by five inches, or something like that…
Mechanicsville, Virginia
Overheard by: Alan
Executive: Are you making jokes about my weight again?
Assistant: No, I always call you “The big g”. The “g” stands for “goodness”.
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Female executive VP on phone son: I'm not giving you money today. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. (pause) Michael, did you hear what I just said? I'm not giving you any money today. I'm. Not. Giving. You. Any. Money. Today. (pause) I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry. (pause) Yes, I'm serious. I gave you $50 yesterday and I said it had to last you until Friday. You're 21. You're 21. Get a job. (pause) I'm not giving you money today. Okay, bye. (pause) I love you too.
Montclair, New Jersey
Health Exec: You working late?
Tech Exec: Nah, downloading porn. You?
Health Exec: Oh, you know it. Nursing administration porn. Woo-hoo!
Tech Exec: Send some my way. I’ll send you some telecommunications porn.
Health Exec: “Oh baby, show me your phone. Let me see your router.” Good times.
595 Market Street
San Francisco, California
Fund raising exec: We keep hearing about these people who die, and we sit around waiting to hear what they’re going to give to us, and it turns out they’ve left all their money to the crippled children!
Non-profit organization
Washington, DC
Editor: I know it’s not truthful to say we’re still generating responses to your proprosal, but it’s better than saying we’re drunk and lazy.
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
VP Software Development: In my opinion you don’t have to be good at what you do to be a good manager.
2 East Main Street
Danville, Illinois
Visiting executive: So I want to talk about branch 512. What letter does the branch code end with?
Regional manager: Y.
Visiting executive: Y?
Regional manager: Yes, Y. As in “yak.”
Visiting executive: Oh, I see.
Regional manager: Stacey, can you give us an update on branch 512Y?
Stacey: You had me at “yak.”
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Stacey Quit 3 Weeks Later
Exec: I'm having problems receiving e-mail.
IT guy: It's the IMAP you are using. It's not compatible with the settings that you have in your program.
Exec: This is unacceptable. I want you to call IMAP and get this resolved immediately!
IT guy: I can't.
Exec: Why can't you do this?
IT guy: Because IMAP is out to lunch with HTTP.
Los Angeles, California
Lawyer on phone: Homeless strippers?… Dude, you don’t want to hook up with a homeless stripper.
Empire State Building
New York, New York
Overheard by: temporary paralegal
