Pregnant woman in meeting: This is Kate, she'll be taking over for me, since I'll be leaving in March to reproduce.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Really?
Pregnant woman in meeting: This is Kate, she'll be taking over for me, since I'll be leaving in March to reproduce.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Really?
Gossip queen: So, Nate, saw you and Erin left during lunch together. What's goin' on there?
Nate: Nothin'.
Gossip queen: Oh, I get it. Wink. (walks away)
Nate to John: When did eating lunch with someone correlate to having penetrated them? I swear to god, my reputation gets laid about 300% more than I do.
John: Wink.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: me
Tax preparer, tasting the coffee: This tastes like diluted water!
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: wondering how you dilute water…
Male entering bathroom and noticing someone at urinal: I'm always running into the back of you in here.
Morgantown, West Virginia
Guy reading note: That's his handwriting? It looks like a retarded fourth grader writing with his left foot.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Guy Who Does His Hair at Work
Office manager, calling out to boss: Do I have to take the diversity training if I am married to a black guy?
Viking Drive
Eden Prarie, Minnesota
Overheard by: I wouldn’t think so
Entry level peon: What I need is a lackey to follow me around and do stuff for me when I tell them to.
Manager: Listen honey, I hate to tell you this, but you are the lackey.
Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: Nobody’s bitch
Woman in line at Starbucks, on cell: They stripped me, in the office, to my bra and underwear! (phone beeps) Just a minute. (switches to waiting call) Yeah? Yeah, I can get you an oatmeal.
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jade Buddha
Peon: Rice belly would jiggle. Beer belly would, like, wobble hard.
King Street East
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Thank you, sensei
Employee #1: There’s a drunk guy outside who wants to know if we’re hiring any laborers.
Employee #2: Does he have a valid driver’s license?
1201 Yorkship Square
Camden, New Jersey
