Employee #1: You couldn't swing a cat in it, but she thought it was palatial.
Employee #2: What?
(pause)
Employee #1: Big.
Kilmarnock
Scotland
Overheard by: Traitorfish
Employee #1: You couldn't swing a cat in it, but she thought it was palatial.
Employee #2: What?
(pause)
Employee #1: Big.
Kilmarnock
Scotland
Overheard by: Traitorfish
Female guest at front desk: I want to do laundry. Give me four and half dollars in quarters.
Desk attendant: I can give you five dollars in quarters with this.
Female guest: I only want four and half dollars.
Desk attendant: M'am, you gave me a five dollar bill.
Female guest: Just give me four and half dollars in quarters!
Desk attendant: Okay. Here's four-fifty in quarters. And here's two quarters change.
Female guest: Finally. Thank you.
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Meredith
Teen cashier to customer: Do you have a calculator on your phone? I put in 20 instead of 50.
Customer: No, but I have an abacus.
Stop & Shop
Connecticut
Flustered airline rep on PA: Passenger Blackcock, please come talk to a representative at gate 44. Passenger Blackcock, to gate 44 please.
Airport
Newark, New Jersey
Employee #1: My stepdaughter won over $2000.
Employee #2: What's she gonna do with all that money? She should put it towards college!
Employee #1: She's 13 and a redneck. She ain't goin' to college. Plus, she's fine, so she just needs to find her a good lookin' redneck with lots of money, and she'll be set.
Shreveport, Louisiana
Ghetto-fabulous: Hello. Somebody cookin' somethin over here that stank. Trick-or-treat!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Manager, training new employees: So… Sexual harassment. Just don't do it.
Dreadlocked newbie: What about dry humping behind the butcher counter?
Escondido, California
Overheard by: This is a health food store…
Cubicle rat, in loud voice: Hey, where were you when I needed a knife? I had to use a key!
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: durp
Warehouse guy: Did I ever give you an eraser that was pre-used?
Homestead, Florida
Office girl #1: I took the elevator down here.
Office girl #2: Oh, I know where it goes up, but where does it go down?
Office girl #1: The same place it goes up.
Office girl #2: Oh!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Theresa Coiro
