Shop assistant: Have you got the measurements?
Old woman: My husband put them somewhere safe.
Shop assistant: He can't find them?
Old woman: He died.
(awkward silence)
Shop assistant: I'm sorry.
Old woman: He always was inconsiderate.
Fabric Shop
England
Clerk looking through a tire catalog: Do you know which tire it is?
Customer: Yeah, the back right.
Clerk: No…
Awkward silence
Customer: Oh….no.
30983 Hwy 441 South
Commerce, Georgia
Overheard by: R. Segraves
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah, and that’s why I changed my name.
Ghetto girl #2: For real? What was it before?
Ghetto girl #1: I changed it from Te-mika to Ta-mika. Sounds more professional.
Ghetto girl #2: Oooh girl, you know you right.
1300 19th Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: KilThor
Bank customer: As I sat down on the toilet I heard this sickening snap.
Bank teller: So you need a replacement ATM card?
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sara
Customer: What movie starts next?
Box office girl: That would be Keeping up with the Steins, at 11:55.
Customer: And what’s that about?
Box office girl: I believe family problems around the time of the kid’s bar mitzvah.
Manager [under her breath]: It’s about Jewish people, duh.
Customer: Two for X-Men, please.
510 North Orlando Avenue
Winter Park, Florida
Clerk behind counter: Has anyone given you anything to carry on or placed anything in your bags that you aren’t aware of?
Passenger: How would I know?
American Airlines Terminal
Kennedy Airport, New York
Overheard by: Paul V.
Tech support: May I have your name, ma’am?
Customer: Erin Quincey*.
Tech support: And how do you spell that?
Customer: Q, as in ‘cute’…
6615 Ayala Avenue
Makati City
Philippines
Customer: So, yeah, the wedding’s off. I just couldn’t deal with her mother, you know?
Salesgirl: Totally.
Customer: She was just always sticking her nose into our business — we couldn’t get a moment of peace.
Salesgirl: Yeah.
Customer: And then, of course, [my wife] goes and tells her about my impotence, and it all went downhill from there.
Salesgirl: God. Well, you did the right thing. Just hang in there.
Customer: Mmm. Anyway, it was really nice meeting you, Julie*.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
Gay customer: Excuse me, [points to employee] is that man gay?
Clerk: I’m not sure
Gay customer: He comes off as gay.
Clerk: I guess…
Gay customer, turning to boyfriend: I wouldnt bang him, would you?
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
CSR: Sir? Sir, are you there?
Customer: Oh, I dozed off! Sorry I do that sometimes.
Later in the call…
CSR: Is that okay, sir?…Sir, are you still there?…Sir? did you fall asleep again? Sir?
Customer: Why would you ask me if I fell asleep?
5767 West Sunrise Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: cubiclejunky
