Auditioning guy: So, what should I put down for ‘Citizenship’?
Casting intern #1: Were you born in the United States?
Auditioning guy: Yes.
Casting intern #1: Then put down that you’re a U.S. citizen.
Auditioning guy: Does it matter that I moved to Oregon for eight months?
Casting intern #1: Did you really just–
Casting intern #2, cutting him off: –No, it doesn’t matter.
MTV dating show auditions
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Liz
Customer: Hi, I’d like to make a return.
Cashier: Ok, do you have your receipt?
Customer: Yeah, here it is.
Cashier, after looking at receipt for a few seconds: Ma’am, this is from Walgreens.
Customer: Oh…[looks around the store in bewilderment] Where am I?
Longs Drugs
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Customer: These ice cream cones and a hundred dollars in lotto tickets.
Store clerk: Okay, $106.39
Customer: What? These ice creams cost six dollars?! What a waste of money! No, I dont want them. What a waste. Seriously! No, no — just the lotto tickets.
Eastlake Mart
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: kallisti
Female customer: You know, Walt Disney was afraid of mouses.
Friend: Yeah, he also had one in his house.
501 West Lincoln Trail Boulevard
Radcliff, Kentucky
Customer: Can you direct me to the problems office please?
Receptionist: The problems office? I’ve never heard of them.
Customer: Oh… Maybe they closed down…
Receptionist: What kind of problems did they solve?
Customer: Any kind of problems!
Receptionist: Am I able to help?
Customer: Nah…I’ll just come back another time.
Gold Coast
Australia
Overheard by: Cam
Clerk: I’m sorry, ma’am, but these photos are professional. There’s no way I could let you print these without a release form.
Customer, angry: If I didn’t just get out of prison, I would through such a fit!
Mother: Just calm down and walk away.
Cleveland, Ohio
Customer: We’d like to get a gallon of paint.
Employee: Ok, what sheen would you like?
Customer: What’s “sheen”?
Employee: The sheen is how shiny the paint is. There are different sheens for different rooms.
Customer: What would you recommend?
Employee: Where is it going?
Customer: On the wall.
45075 Worth Avenue
California, Maryland
Overheard by: Paint Chick
CSR: OK, sir, go ahead and click on the logo in the top left of your screen.
Customer, on phone: I don’t see that. I’m on a page that says "Welcome," then "My Profile."
CSR: OK, go ahead and click on "My Profile."
Customer: I don’t see that.
9800 Fredericksburg Road
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: Raydran
Shop assistant: Have you got the measurements?
Old woman: My husband put them somewhere safe.
Shop assistant: He can't find them?
Old woman: He died.
(awkward silence)
Shop assistant: I'm sorry.
Old woman: He always was inconsiderate.
Fabric Shop
England
Clerk looking through a tire catalog: Do you know which tire it is?
Customer: Yeah, the back right.
Clerk: No…
Awkward silence
Customer: Oh….no.
30983 Hwy 441 South
Commerce, Georgia
Overheard by: R. Segraves
