Bill: I wish we had a bar like Cheers where everyone knows your name.
Shawn: Maybe we could wear nametags next time we go to a happy hour?
Howard: We wore nametags at your company's happy hour fundraiser and no one remembered shit.
Shawn: Hey!
Bill: That's because the employees of Shawn's company are slow in the head.
Shawn: Okay, we may be slow, but at least we aren't uh… (pause) I'll think of something (scratches head) just give me a minute.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Management Ninja!
Office rocker girl: I woke up this morning with a guitar pick stuck to my face.
Office rocker guy: That is some kinky shit!
Office rocker girl: I don't even know how it happened.
Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
Boss, explaining how to prepare contract documents: We do this so that we’re not running around, trying to grab our asses in the middle of the night. That’s not what we want to do!
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Matt
IT manager: Start sharpening your ruler cause you’re gonna need an office shank!
Waterloo
Canadia
Coworker on phone: Yeah, I’ll be over later, but without the ticks.
Johnson City, Tennessee
Employee to manager: Do you know how to talk to deaf people on the phone?
Williamsville, New York
PA: Buffy Capri, please call the operator, Buffy Capri.
Secretary #1: Who the hell is Buffy Capri?
Secretary #2: I don’t know. An exotic dancer or a porn star?
Secretary #1: Buffy Capri, you’re wanted on the lido deck.
Secretary #3: She’s a paralegal. With a dumb name.
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman: So this boy I’ve been stalking broke up with me for no good reason.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/06/hey-i-bet-i-can-think-of-one.html
Overheard by:
VP on phone: What are you doing? (silence) Sounds like you’re taking a shit.
Springfield, Massachusetts
Professor walking into new chemistry building: Whoa, is this an optical illusion or is this reality?!
University of Arizona, Tucson
Overheard by: Rasputin
