Drone on cell: Yeah, the trial is tomorrow… Well, he figured if he was going to prison for a rape he did not do, the state owed him a freebie.
Overland Park, Kansas
Drone on cell: Yeah, the trial is tomorrow… Well, he figured if he was going to prison for a rape he did not do, the state owed him a freebie.
Overland Park, Kansas
Employee: I can’t process this according to your instructions.
Boss: Why’s that?
Employee: It’s against federal law.
Boss: I’ll have someone else do it.
Seattle, Washington
Student: This place is nice.
Employee: Yeah, it’s really peaceful until the homeless guys look at porn on the Internet and they have to call the cops.
Student: Does that happen a lot?
Employee: Yeah. What else do they have to do?
Law Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Employee #1: I think you were aiding and abetting a felony.
Employee #2: Yay, it's been a big day. I made brownies.
Chicago, Illinois
Visiting European account manager: Oh, you have a new cell! I guess it was time to get a new one?
Chinese Project Manager: Yes, this morning I come to work and I am robbed by bandits. So, I have to get a new cell phone.
Visiting European account manager: Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha…ha…Heh. Oh. Oh dear. Are you ok?
Chinese Project Manager (in Chinese): Is she drunk?
188 Dong Cheng Da Dao
Dong Guan, China
Overheard by: Adam White
Co-worker: I figure, if he sends me to jail, I’m just going to call the judge a cocksucker. ‘Cause at that point, what can he do?
6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio
Head of Security: I know several of you have told me I looked familiar. Well, I used to be an undercover narcotics agent…don’t worry, I won’t name names.
550 Bowie Street
Austin, Texas
Lawyer: We received the claimant’s demand for $300,000 for sexual
harassment. Whether it’s a reasonable demand or not…I wish someone would touch me inappropriately so I could sue.
8 Hanover Square
New York, NY
Overheard by: Pinsy
Worker #1: We’re out of toilet paper.
Worker #2: The supply closet is empty.
Worker #1: I think they’re stuffing their vaginal canals with it to smuggle some home.
215 South Country Road
Bellport, New York
Co-worker: And I am not exaggerating, but my dog literally chewed my brush up into 75 million pieces.
6600 Campus Circle Drive E
Irving, Texas
Woman #1: So I went to Filene’s Basement last night, and I was–literally–raped, I spent so much money, got a bunch of stuff.
Woman #2: Ooh, what did you get?
24 North Street
Pittsfield, Massachusetts
