Peon #1: Mmmm… I love these doughnuts. I could even eat them without the icing, the dough is so soft.
Peon #2: Like your flesh.
Tim Mei Avenue
Hong Kong
China
Peon #1: Mmmm… I love these doughnuts. I could even eat them without the icing, the dough is so soft.
Peon #2: Like your flesh.
Tim Mei Avenue
Hong Kong
China
Salesguy #1: …so she totally doesn’t mind sexual harassment.
Salesguy #2: Really?
Salesguy #1: Well, she does and she doesn’t. It depends on who’s doing it.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Office drone #1: So I guess birth is the last time when you can fit your entire body through a vagina.
Office drone #2: Huh…
111 Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?
Office creepster: I just always wondered what it'd be like to poke you.
Office hottie: Oh. It didn't do much for me. How was it for you?
Office creepster: Fucking magic!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
Creepy employee to intern at urinal: Caught you red handed!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Tibor
Male creepy marketing director, asking how to change copier's toner: So you just pull it out and shove it in?
Female office manager: (sigh)
Royal Oak, Michigan
Old black lady: Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!
Young black woman: Huh?
Old black lady: You know what ‘K-I-S-S’ stand for?
Young black woman: What?
Old black woman: ‘Knights in Satan’s Service.’ That’s right, ‘Knights in Satan’s Service! Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!
2201 South 10th Street
Ft. Pierce, Florida
Overheard by: Just here to get dialated
Coworker #1, drinking with group: I’ve got two kids, a daughter and a son.
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah? I didn’t know that. Does Betty* have any kids?
Coworker #3: No. Glen* has kids, though.
Coworker #1: Who?
Coworker #3: You know, Glen — over there at the table across the room. He has two daughters. They came to the office a couple times. One’s about 12, and the other’s 15 or something like that.
Top executive: Yeah, and they’re pretty hot, too! [All three coworkers silent.] Uhhh… Healthy, I mean. Good kids.
Spirit of Seattle Argosy Cruise Ferry, Lake Union
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Why Can’t I Be Deaf?
Male officer: I’ve hit women before.
Female coworker: I bet you have.
Male officer: Prisoners. Like this one who tried to scratch me. I told her, ‘You’re not a cat, and I’m not a post. Now I’m gonna have to change your future.’
Newark, Delaware
Sales chick #1: So, if the sun dies, then we’re all dead?
Sales chick #2: Yup.
Sales chick #1: But what if we eat the people that die first?
Sales chick #2: We’d all die pretty soon anyway.
Sales chick #1: Oh… But I can still eat the dead people, right?
4606 Lankershim Boulevard
North Hollywood, California
