Sweet-looking old lady on phone: What’s the word on the street? Yeah, that little girl will do just fine… I told her it doesn’t hurt. Well, if you get a good client, it doesn’t hurt… Well, I’ve got twenty… Great, bye!
University
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Terrified Co-Worker
Loud lady peon: Hey, Sheryl*, whenever you want to come over here and smell me, go ahead!
Fairchild Court
Plainview, New York
Overheard by: Tina
Male employee: I think that guy was flirting with you.
Female employee: What are you talking about?
Male employee: You are like the workplace poster girl. Crap, is that harassment?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Centerfold
Coworker on phone: If you want to know any good 12-year-olds, I can tell you. Just ask.
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: Over H. Eard
Supervisor: I think my bird is dying. What should I do?
Coworker #1: Put it in a bag and tie it to your car exhaust.
Coworker #2: Put it in the freezer.
Coworker #3: Put in a bag and whack it.
Supervisor: You people scare me… Go back to work.
Chicago, Illinois
Upset creepy man trying to get access to woman's room: I am wearing a $10,000 watch, you don't have to worry about me stealing anything.
Manager: For all I know, you killed someone and stole their watch.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Ross79
Guy #1: Is this a picture of your daughter?
Guy #2: Yeah. She’s really starting to fill out.
1501 E. Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Lab guy on cell: What did you just say to me? Oh, goat porn! Yeah, I like goat porn, too.
Science center
Long Island, New York
Guy: You want me to buy 60 dollars’ worth of butt-paste?
4803 Deer Lake Drive
Jacksonville, Florida
Supervisor #1: I mean, humans are the only ones that are supposed to be having interspecies sex, and even then, I don’t think that we should be.
Supervisor #2: Ew.
Supervisor #3: But that’d probably get you promoted here.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
