The Civil War Re-enactors Ruined That for Everybody

Employee: Do you think I can leave my machete on display? I moved my plants and posters.
Supervisor: Machete, cool. Bayonet, not cool. I already asked HR.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Overheard by: I Think I’ll Request A Different Cubicle

Posted on June 26, 2017
Bosses and Underlings, Creepsters, General Idiocy, Questions, Wisconsin

I Have Some in My Trunk

Fat old creepy guy interrupting three Asian girls: So how old is this guy?
Asian girl #1 (looking awkwardly at friends): 18.
Asian girl #2: Yeah. (laughs) She likes them young.
Fat old creepy guy: Oooh! (pause) You can train him! Get a collar and a leash and a big stick like the ones my kids use to whack their pigs!

Sacramento, California

Posted on November 8, 2016
Age and ageing, Animals, California, Creepsters, Friends, Race, Violence, Weirdness

Mrs. Fields Has Her Fingers in a Lot of Pies

Sweet-looking old lady on phone: What’s the word on the street? Yeah, that little girl will do just fine… I told her it doesn’t hurt. Well, if you get a good client, it doesn’t hurt… Well, I’ve got twenty… Great, bye!

University
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Terrified Co-Worker

Posted on July 12, 2016
Colorado, Creepsters, Gossip, On the phone

I Wouldn’t Wait, If I Were You

Loud lady peon: Hey, Sheryl*, whenever you want to come over here and smell me, go ahead!

Fairchild Court
Plainview, New York

Overheard by: Tina

Posted on September 16, 2015
Creepsters, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment

I’d Have to See the Poster

Male employee: I think that guy was flirting with you.
Female employee: What are you talking about?
Male employee: You are like the workplace poster girl. Crap, is that harassment?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Centerfold

Posted on August 8, 2015
Compliments, Coworkers, Creepsters, Default, Employees, Pennsylvania, Physical Appearance, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sexuality

… Oh, Bottles of Scotch. What Did You Think I Was Talking About?

Coworker on phone: If you want to know any good 12-year-olds, I can tell you. Just ask.

Rancho Cordova, California

Overheard by: Over H. Eard

Posted on July 27, 2015
California, Creepsters, Gossip

For the Record, I Call My Vibrator “The Bird”

Supervisor: I think my bird is dying. What should I do?
Coworker #1: Put it in a bag and tie it to your car exhaust.
Coworker #2: Put it in the freezer.
Coworker #3: Put in a bag and whack it.
Supervisor: You people scare me… Go back to work.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 15, 2015
Advice, Animals, Bosses and Underlings, Creepsters, Default, Illinois, Violence

How You Know Someone Is Originally from Brooklyn

Upset creepy man trying to get access to woman's room: I am wearing a $10,000 watch, you don't have to worry about me stealing anything.
Manager: For all I know, you killed someone and stole their watch.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Ross79