Office drone: If we die it’ll be because of those Altoids.
3229 East Spring Street
Los Angeles, California
Office drone: If we die it’ll be because of those Altoids.
3229 East Spring Street
Los Angeles, California
Real estate agent #1: My son is teaching himself how to play guitar! He's getting real good!
Real estate agent #2: That's great! What's he using?
Real estate agent #1: This program called Guitar Hero.
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: JMB
Coworker: I don't have the voice for rap… But shit, man, I can write rhymes!
Chico, California
Op: You know what would make a great pet?
Ernie: No, what?
Op: A badger.
Ernie: Yeah, great. Great at ripping human flesh off.
Op: Exactly, burglar protection.
Ernie: No, I was talking about your flesh.
Op: Oh… I can take it.
Boston, Massachusetts
Voice in next cubicle: I forgot how much I hate space travel.
Fort Leavenworth, Kansas
Coworker #1: Artificial insemination?
Coworker #2: That way I could have a kid without whoring myself around as much.
Kansas
Visiting client, waiting for elevator: You're right. Putting shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle *is* more economical.
(jittery laughter)
Manager: It just makes sense, you know? Why have two when you can have just one?
Coworker, after client and manager get in elevator: That was the worst example of small talk I have ever heard.
Chicago, Illinois
Middle-aged man #1 on speakerphone: You’re a poo-poo head.
Middle-aged man #2: Well, you’re a pu-pu platter!
Dupont Circle
Washington, DC
Co-worker #1: Hey, did you all bring in cookies?
Co-worker #2: God, you’re like a shark when there’s blood in the water.
3701 Wayzata Boulevard
Minneapolis, Minnesota
