A Misguided Attempt to Assert Alpha Female Status

Female coworker #1: Are your poops big?
Female coworker #2: Well, I don’t exactly examine…
Female coworker #1: Well, compare your big poop to something in real life.
Female coworker #2: This is ridiculous.
Female coworker #1: No, I’m serious.
Female coworker #2: I don’t know, an egg?
Female coworker #1: How many eggs?
Female coworker #2: Three, four?
Female coworker #1: Well, my big poop is like the size of a Nalgene water bottle.

Gladstone Avenue & Galena Boulevard
Aurora, Illinois

Overheard by: Just Trying to Eat My Lunch

Posted on April 13, 2023
Coworkers, Illinois, Questions, Restroom

And Are There Any Leftover Sausages?

Waitress: I ate so many pork sausages yesterday at the picnic, when I fart it sounds like a pig squealing [makes loud squealing sounds over and over].
Waiter: Did you used to be a guy or something?

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on April 11, 2023
Coworkers, Gossip, Indiana, Meals and Snacks

I'll Service Him Like He's Never Been Serviced Before

Male worker #1: He's planning on buying a lot from our company. Now that's the type of customer you really want to make love to.
Male worker #2, taking off jacket: Alright, grease me up!

Freehold, New Jersey

Overheard by: Max

Posted on April 10, 2023
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Money, New Jersey, Sexuality

And We’ve Already Been Picked Up by Spike TV

Office grunt: … So then I said, ‘Bill*, just throw a bunch of monkeys in a container and have them eat all the bananas.’

1111 Broadway
Oakland, California

Posted on April 9, 2023
Advice, California, Coworkers

In Fairness, He Didn’t Seem to Know

Man: It’s not my fault the guy was a fucking idiot… It may have been my fault that I told him, though.

New Street Station
Birmingham
United Kingdom

Overheard by: I would have told him, too

Posted on April 5, 2023
Coworkers, England, Gripes, Insults

…Given How We Met

Coworker #1: So you saw her at church then, that is kinda cool.
Coworker #2: Yeah, because at least I know she isn't out getting gang-banged on a Sunday, which is nice.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Professor Awesome

Posted on April 3, 2023
Coworkers, Relationships, Religion, Sexuality, Washington

The Walls Seem to Appreciate That Arrangement

Office lady: How can you drink that much Red Bull?
Computer nerd: I don’t know, you build up a tolerance.
Office lady: If I drank that much I’d be whacking off the walls.
Computer nerd: Umm, you’d do what?

117th St
Broomfield, Colorado

Overheard by: The other nerd

Posted on April 2, 2023
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Drinking, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Questions

The World Would Be Much Poorer Without Canadia

Male cubicle dweller #1: Tell you what, if you grow your hair shoulder-length, I'll braid it for you.
Male cubicle dweller #2: Deal!
Male cubicle dweller #1: Do you want me to sign a post-it or something… like a contract?
Male cubicle dweller #2: No, I trust you.

Laurier
Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: They had no idea I was here