Coworker on the phone with her daughter: The days of getting free stuff just because you’re cute are over.
County School Office
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Someone who’s convinced those days are never over
Coworker on the phone with her daughter: The days of getting free stuff just because you’re cute are over.
County School Office
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Someone who’s convinced those days are never over
Co-worker made to apologize to client: I’m sorry I didn’t have you on hold when I called you an asshole.
Marietta, Georgia
Specialist peon to manager peon: It’s 3:30 already? My thingy hasn’t been popping up all day!
South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: I didn’t know girls had thingies
Pierced guy to friend: So the moral of the story is: “Don’t fall asleep in Penn Station when Howie Mandel is around”.
Tremont Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl #1: Why you got that scary picture as your wallpaper?
Girl #2: It’s not scary. It’s a pretty field and a tree.
Manager: It looks like Teletubbies are gonna walk over the hill and kill us all.
Girl #1: Why you gotta be so scary? Why can’t you have a normal desktop picture? Like Betty Boop?
Purchase, New York
Overheard by: Is my life really like this?
Man diva: I mean, I cannot believe my little brother didn’t notice that stain for five hours! How can you think it’s water when it doesn’t dry for five hours?
Girl: Well maybe he wasn’t paying attention. It was your grandfather’s funeral.
Man diva: Ohmigod it’s like seven inches across the cuff!
Girl: I’m sure there’s somewhere you can still wear them?
Man diva: Yeah, if somebody has a stain party!
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Dry cleaner no good
Ghetto coworker: My son loves his car, he says he wants to get buried in it. I tell him he’s crazy, but it is a really nice car. It’s an Oldsmobuick* convertible, cocaine white…
Not-so-ghetto coworker: Cocaine white?
Ghetto coworker: Yeah, you know that really pearly white color?
Not-so-ghetto coworker, sarcastically: Does it have meth-yellow trim?
Ghetto coworker, oblivious: No, just white. But I tell him he’s crazy, it would never work. When they put in the dirt it would cave in the roof!
Modesto, California
Overheard by: That’s not my job.
Middle management moron: Ha, yes you’d look good in a nappy.
Long-suffering fellow goon: I don’t know what disturbs me more: the thought of *me* in a nappy, or the thought of *you* thinking about me in a nappy.
Osborne Park
Western Australia
Cube employee #1: Why did you do that?!?
Cube employee #2: Because you squirted my eye with bubbles of joy.
23rd Street & Park Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Turns out it was just dish soap.
Older woman, observing plate of donuts near man: Oh wow, is it your birthday?
Younger man: Actually, it’s my last day today. I got another job.
Older woman: Great. Well, happy birthday!
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Chris
