Male boss: So, earlier I walked down the hall calling your name, looking for you, but my wife is the one that responded…
Coworker, jokingly: That's because our names sound so much alike.
Male boss: No, I think it's because when we have sex I like to pretend she's a man and I call out your name.
Coworker: That's the most fucked-up thing you've ever said to me.
Charleston, South Carolina
Dude #1, at urinal: Shouldn’t we have two different organs for peeing and reproducing?
Dude #2: Submit a design change request to god.
Bangalore
India
Co-worker: It’s been my 12th year in this godforsaken country and I never made it past Baltimore.
2910 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Shara Jenkins
Co-worker #1: Are we loud in meetings?
Co-worker #2: Some of us are.
Co-worker #1: Let me correct that: are we allowed in meetings?
3650 131st Avenue SE
Bellevue, Washington
Peon #1: It smells like someone took a huge shit. What the hell is that?
Peon #2: It’s the tacos. I had tacos for lunch. Does it smell like tacos?
69 North 69th Street
New York, New York
Female coworker: I can't help it–when he's around, I go all weak in the vagina.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: you should probably get that checked out…
Manager to worker on phone with customer: Tell him we ain't got a monkey, and don't know when the stock's coming in.
Hemel Hempstead
England
Overheard by: Do we sell monkeys?
Peon #1: He was basically using the frog as a Fleshlight.
Peon #2: What's a Fleshlight?
Allston, Massachusetts
Grunt #1: How you doin’ today, Paul*?
Grunt #2: Flying. Flying high today.
Grunt #1: Too many pills?
Grunt #2: Yep. They make you pee.
North Meridian Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
