Coworker, on phone to husband: Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but… You should tell the doctor that you've… gotten smaller.
Annapolis, Maryland
Coworker, on phone to husband: Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but… You should tell the doctor that you've… gotten smaller.
Annapolis, Maryland
Lady: See, I had taken my urine down to the cafeteria.
500 Indiana Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: David
Pretty bisexual waitress: You’ve got to have something to look forward to — one way or the other, I’m getting laid tonight.
Ugly asexual waiter: I know what you mean — I’m going to have breakfast food for dinner.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Smoking peon: I was like any normal kid — give me a Butane Torch, and I’m gonna burn everything I can find.
22nd Street and 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Christina
Co-worker #1: Did you see that email [Henry] sent?
Co-worker #2 & #3: Yes.
Co-worker #1: What does he mean by “COB”?
Co-worker #2 & #3: Conclusion of business.
Co-worker #1: Oh, I was hoping it meant “commencement of breakfast.”
10900 Stonelake Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: T the Munificent
Co-worker #1: How’s the new baby?
Co-worker #2: She’s doing great thanks!
Co-worker #1: Does she have hair?
Co-worker #2: She’s got tonnes of hair!
Co-worker #1: How about eyes?
Co-worker #2: …Yes, she has eyes…
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Worker bee: I guess he’s a she now. Or again, I guess. Gender pronouns don’t really apply, apparently.
3215 Corporate Court
Ellicott City, Maryland
Coworker #1: Tuesday through Friday, and then Monday and Tuesday The Simpsons Movie is playing at the [nearby theater].
Coworker #2: Didn’t you see it already and say that it sucked?
Coworker #1: Yes, but I was sober.
Library
Anchorage, Alaska
Sales guy: My daughter had a book when she was little called Which Witch is Which.
Sales chick: … Huh?
Sales guy: She had a book called Which Witch is Which.
Sales chick: I thought that was one of your porn movies…
Sales guy: Well, it might be that, too. Porn and children’s books… I get them confused.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
