Coworkers

Male coworker: But Anne Heche is oddly hot, and she’d be okay with another woman in the bedroom. Plus, she’s insane, which makes her fun.
Female coworker: Well, guess if you’re fantasizing about someone bi and crazy she could be interesting…
Male coworker: See? See? I think she might actually be an alien. That’d be even better! Aliens are sexy.
Female coworker: No, no, now you’re just getting weird and nerdy. Aliens are not sexy.
Male coworker: I always imagined the female alien from Cocoon to be really sexy. She had a great body when the skin was on her, but there was something scary and yet awesome about the glowing part. I’d want her to keep her human skin on, but I imagine sex with her to be like nothing else you’ve ever imagined. And I imagine her kisses to taste like candy and electricity, like pop rocks or something.
Female coworker: Okay, now you’ve let me know too much information, and you’re still getting all nerdy.
Male coworker: Okay, you’re right. This is starting to sound weird.

Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Engineer #1: You ever have one of those drives into work where you swear they’re giving out driver’s licenses as prizes in people’s cereal in the morning?
Engineer #2: Mine came with a free decoder ring!

151 Court Street
Binghamton, New York

New girl: How do you file your customer requests?
Veteran: By subject.
New girl: But what if there are two subjects in one request?
Veteran: You pick one.

116th and Broadway
New York, New York

Conductor #1: I found a purse back there, I'm taking it up front.
(walks through the cars)
Conductor #2 on PA: Attention passengers, if anyone has a pair of red high heels to match Alan's* new bag please see him in the first car.

MARC Train
Brunswick, Maryland

Female coworker to another: Oh my… I've got wood in my mouth.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: DesignMonkey

Co-worker #1: Does this skirt unflatter me more badly?
Co-worker #2: I don’t even know how to answer that question.

216 Jackson Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois

Co-worker #1: My corner is dark and quiet.
Co-worker #2: You should move over here.
Co-worker #3: Just make sure you don’t wear Stevie Wonder glasses over at your corner.

6000 Windward Parkway
Alpharetta, Georgia

Janitor #1: Daaamn man, I feel you!
Janitor #2: Yeah, man, but then there was that other thing…
Janitor #1: What you talkin’ ’bout, man? She’s fucking hot!
Janitor #2: The whole gang-rape thing. Dunno ’bout that.
Janitor #1: … Oh.

Main Breezeway, Johns Hopkins Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: just another med student

Peon #1: I gotta call ’em. They’re in Georgia. Is it too early?
Peon #2: What do you mean?
Peon #1: Aren’t they behind us? What time is it there? … Where’s Georgia?

Clements Bridge Road
Barrington, New Jersey

Overheard by: worker on Eastern time

Office drone #1: I'd like to get some hamsters. That'd be cool. Then I could get an eagle, and let them go in the backyard so the eagle could get some exercise.
Office drone #2: Who are you–Michael Vick?

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Isotope Feeney