Coworker #1: Do you want this document spf-ed?
Coworker #2: Do mean pdf-ed?
Coworker #1: Yeah, why, what did I say?
Coworker #2: Sfp.
Ellicott City, Maryland
Coworker #1: Do you want this document spf-ed?
Coworker #2: Do mean pdf-ed?
Coworker #1: Yeah, why, what did I say?
Coworker #2: Sfp.
Ellicott City, Maryland
Newlywed father-to-be on phone to coworker: Yeah, it’s great! Although… It’s very large and hard… For some reason I thought it would be squishy.
4001 South 700 East
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Really hopes he’s talking about his wife’s belly…
Chubby office girl #1: … And I’m a big girl, okay? The wind was blowing so hard that I almost fell over. I dunno how other people stay on the ground.
Chubby office girl #2: I’ve often wondered that.
Chubby office girl #1: Why I’m so fat?
Chubby office girl #2, laughing: No, how skinny people aren’t airborne more often.
Chubby office girl #1: They’re more aerodynamic, I guess.
State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Liz
Work bee #1: Do you get paid more because you speak two languages?
Work bee #2: No. I should, right? One would think…
Work bee #1: Yeah, seriously, speaking two languages is like having an extra toe, it makes you stand out.
Shelton, Connecticut
Worker #1: Ow! I just gave my face a paper cut!
Worker #2: Are you serious?
Worker #1: Uh…no.
685 Cathcart Street
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: Timmy O’ Toole
Worker: When he used to work here, I literally left work one day and spent ten minutes trying to figure out where I could park my car so I could shoot him when he left and not get caught.
Main Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: frightened newbie
Coworker: The back door isn't working.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah, the card thing isn't working. It'll be fixed soon.
Coworker: How do we get into the lab from the outside, then?
Receptionist: You'll have to use the door on the other side and go around. Sorry for the incontinence.
Lancaster, California
Office girl on cell: Come on, Mom, you know how I feel about socks!
621 East 9th Street
Des Moines, Iowa
Intercom: This is an announcement: check your phones to see if they have a dial tone. If they don’t, call Administration and let them know.
Valhalla, New York
Overheard by: jb
Male coworker: My lips are still recovering from Vegas.
San Diego, California
