Cube rat #1: Hey, does it smell like poop over here?
Cube rat #2: What?
Cube rat #1: I farted — it smells bad over here.
Cube rat #2: That’s so gross, dude!
Cube rat #1: I have too much work to do! I don’t have time to go to the bathroom!
Cube rat #2: Go to the bathroom!
The Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Peon: I don’t know… It just seems like kind of a waste of Jell-O.
1 Athenaeum Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Coworker who quit smoking four days ago: You know what? I'm to that point now, where I'm starting to cough shit up. I mean, I know it's nasty, but you look in the sink and you say to yourself, “cool…that's not in me anymore!”
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Ashley
Female coworker #1: Is that a cucumber you just pulled out of your desk drawer?
Female coworker #2: Yeah, Connie gave it to me yesterday. So watch out: today is “beat people with a cucumber day”, so if you piss me off I'm gonna hit you with my cucumber.
Female coworker #1: Wait… Why did Connie give you a cucumber?
Female coworker #2: She had it at her desk yesterday and was having some fun with it. Then she got tired of it, so she gave it to me.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: WD40
Office mole #1: Guess who's not coming to your birthday?
Office mole #2: Jesus Christ?
Parksville
Canadia
Overheard by: Unfortunate bystander
Anglo coworker during meeting, loudly: Mi lapiz es muy grande!
Air Force Base, California
Overheard by: Joe
Co-worker #1: Do you have a dog?
Co-worker #2: No, I have a hard enough time taking care of myself, let alone another dog.
2645 South Mojave Road
Las Vegas, Nevada
Person in cubicle: Is that your cell phone?
Person in next cubicle: No, it's my mouth.
Austin, Texas
Woman: It’s about time to not come to work for a couple of days.
770 N. Water Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Paul
Editor to another: You’re killing me. Why don’t you just cover yourself with tapioca and let the birds eat you?
Beaumont, Texas
