Irritated coworker to inventory worker: If I want your opinion, I'll jingle my zipper next time.
Tampa, Florida
Irritated coworker to inventory worker: If I want your opinion, I'll jingle my zipper next time.
Tampa, Florida
Girl tech: We are blocking emails to our customers with the word disbursement in it because of “semen”.
Head tech dude: Semen?
Guy tech #1: Are you sure semen isn’t somewhere else?
Guy tech #2: Semen? Like the nasty stuff?
Head tech dude: We’ll have to adjust the filter, we are blocking reimbursement too.
Girl tech: Jeez, this blocking could cause all sorts of problems.
9001 Shelbyville Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Andy Goss
Female coworker: Anybody need anything? I'm going to go down to the vending machines, I need a little protein with my carb this morning.
(male coworker gives a suggestive chuckle)
Female coworker: Nothin' outta you! (pause) Wait…crap, I didn't mean it that way!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: jearu
Coworker: Today is my great-grandmother's 100th birthday, and we are going to bury her tomorrow.
Seattle, Washington
Girl #1: They missed their deliverables again. Can you believe that shit?
Girl #2: No, I can’t believe it. I am so frustrated for you. What is the excuse? “Our neanderthal foreheads make it difficult to see the screen?”
275 Battery Street
San Francisco, California
State rep #1: What's up?
State rep #2: Living the dream!
State rep #2: It's actually more nightmarish.
Columbus, Ohio
Female coworker #1: So, what do you think about Henry?
Female coworker #2: He’s an odd egg, but a good egg — at least when he’s not licking people.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Conductor #1, over PA: This is Stamford; welcome to the President's Club. (pause) Maybe you'll invite me someday.
Conductor #2, over PA: I doubt that's gonna happen.
Conductor #1: True.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: wasn't invited either
Co-worker: So I was at the deli, and I asked for a third of a pound of meat. I asked the lady twice. She then gave me 1.5 pounds of meat. I said, “Excuse me, this isn’t a third of a pound.” Then she said,
“Yes, it is.” Then I said, “No, it’s not.” So then she turns and asks her co-worker behind the deli counter how much a third of a pound is, and her co-worker replies, “Oh, a third of a pound is .75.”…This is why I hate the South.
115 Perimeter Center Place
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman: Sam* is a big cookie ho, and I’m the cookie monitor, and Lynn* is the cake finisher–
Sam, from next cubicle: –There’s cake?!
Congress Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kitty
