Coworker #1: So, I’ve been reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and I had no idea about the Toni Braxton-Taylor Hicks thing.
Coworker #2: … The what?
Coworker #1: You know, the false labor…
Coworker #2: You mean Braxton Hicks?
Coworker #1: Yes, Toni Braxton-Taylor Hicks. I had no idea it was called that.
Coworker #2: It’s not called that. Please stop calling it that.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: It’s REALLY not called that
Older coworker on phone: Don't worry, you are on my list of things to do today.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Female coworker: How old do you think she is? Like 15 or 16?
Male coworker: Because I have no desire to make an appearance on the Megan's Law database, I respectfully decline to answer your question.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: JD
Programmer #1: Can you kill the parent without killing the child nodes?
Programmer #2: I don’t think so.
Sales guy: It’s always good to get rid of the witnesses.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sales guy’s neighbor
Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings… We need to be like male elephants!
Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks?
Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears?
Professor: No! We need to pee all over everything!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Janitor to coworkers: Man, these customers be crazy. The other night I was moppin’ the floor, and this bitch come up to me and said, ‘It’s not time to mop the floor yet!’ Lady, do I come to your job and smack the dick outta your mouth?
Natural Food Store breakroom
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: disgruntled employee
Colleague #1: Pi is 3.14.
Colleague #2: You gotta be more accurate than that, it's 3.1415926536…
Colleague #1: No, that should be 535. If you're gonna use it as an example of accuracy…
Colleague #3: Maybe it was an example of irony? Ranting about accuracy and getting the 17th decimal place of pi wrong…
High Holborn
London
England
Peon #1: Stop yelling! You’re just like my dad!
Peon #2: Yeah, except I’m not drunk and I’m not beating you.
Braintree, Massachusetts
Overheard by: not there anymore
Female coworker, reading out loud: “Do not exceed six tablets in a 24-hour period.” To hell with that. I'm gonna get crunk off this Pamprin!
Fort Collins, Colorado
