Girl #1: Did you finish with the Christmas card?
Girl #2: We call it holiday card now. Because everyone is not Catholic.
Girl #1: You know it’s not just Catholics that celebrate Christmas; Christians celebrate it too.
Girl #2: Oh they do? I didn’t know because I’m Catholic.
Fifth Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: But Catholics ARE Christians
Guy: I always thought we would go out Thelma and Louise style when we were both in our 90’s.
Girl: That sounds about right.
Guy: I’m going to move that up about 60 years if this meeting doesn’t end soon.
32 Washington Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: I agree
Newly hired girl, learning computer system: *gasp* Oh my god, I just figured out why Chevron gas stations are called Chevron!
(senior girl rolls eyes)
Newly hired girl, a minute later: *gasp!*
Senior girl: What? Did you just figure out what Shell gas stations are named after?
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: why did we hire her again?
Coworker #1: I was berated by Susan* yesterday because I asked for my light fixture to be fixed… again… after 13 days. She got angry because she ‘has more important things to worry about.’ Apparently, her husband’s in the ICU.
Coworker #2: Dude, she’s going to have to unplug him.
Coworker #1: I understand that, but I resent the accusation that somehow my asking for my light to be fixed betrays an insensitivity to the plight of her almost-dead husband.
Austin, Texas
Female coworker, dancing up to counter: You know, that's the kind of dance move you normally see drag queens use.
Kansas City, Missouri
Employee #1: So the guy in jail I was telling you about, he’s dead! [Laughs]Employee #2: Ooh, that’s great for you then, right?
Employee #1: No, it was the wrong guy. There were two guys sitting in jail, and one of them died, but it was the wrong one.
Employee #2: So you owe your friend money?
Employee #1: Well not until the other guy dies. [pause] This is pretty morbid isn’t it?
Sparks Street
Ottawa, Canadia
Overheard by: a poor little intern
Coworker #1 (checking out woman who just entered office): Damn, that bitch is ugleeee. Yikes!
Coworker #2: Hey, you jerk! That's my mom!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: agreeing with co-worker #1
Maintenance #1: Don’t break ’em off.
Maintenance #2: Don’t break what off?
Maintenance #1: These nuts.
224 South Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Minion #1: Oh, yeah, I try not to go shopping during the holidays.
Minion #2: You can’t avoid it — the music, the squealing children, everything — it’s like a peppermint orgy.
Assistant, startled: Uh, what?
12th and Peachtree
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Say what?
